Drops of Jupiter
by Kia Saphia
Summary: *songfic* Riku is gone and all he left was a letter to Kairi.....this simple letter haunts her soul for three years and when she can't take it anymore, seeing Riku becomes more of a heartache than she thought *LAST CHP UP!
1. Default Chapter

Drops of Jupiter  
  
~*~  
  
disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts (duh) or Drops of Jupiter by Train  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi ran barefoot through the beaches of Destiny Island. It was dark outside and she had been running and searching for hours...searching for Riku. She had been around the entire island at least three times but she still couldn't find the silver-haired boy that loved her so much.  
  
"Where did you go Riku?" she whispered under her breath. She didn't know where he could've gone or why he went missing, all she knew is that she couldn't find him anywhere. She was starting to become a little scared as the air grew cold and see could see her breath in the air. She sat on a rock and rested as she looked out into the beach before her. Everyone else on the island was asleep and Kairi had been up searching into the night for Riku.  
  
"Am I the only one that cares that he's missing?" she asked herself. "No, that couldn't be. Sora would go looking for him, and his family, yet I'm the only one out here." Kairi looked up at the stars. There were thousands out tonight. They light up the sky like little diamonds. She smiled as she continued to gaze up into the jewel in crested sky. Then she got off of the rock.  
  
"I will find you Riku."  
  
~*~  
  
Hours passed and now the night had turned into the early hours of the morning. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and all that was out side was dew on the ground and a light sky. Kairi had lost her energy in her search for Riku and collapsed on the floor of the cave where the drawings on the wall were. She slept there like a fallen angel and dreamed dreams of Riku.  
  
~*Kairi's Dream*~  
  
"Huh, where am I?" Kairi said as she looked around at the scenery she was standing in. It was like she was standing in the star-filled sky she had looked up at.  
  
"Wow," Kairi said in aw as she looked around at the beautiful stars around her. Then an image appeared in front of her. She squinted and tried to make out what it was.  
  
"Riku!" Kairi cried out happily. Riku smiled and held out his hand towards her. Kairi smiled back at him and reached her hand out to take hold of his. When the two hands were about to meet Riku started to float away from her.  
  
"Riku?" Kairi said in a slightly scared voice. But Riku kept floating away from her with his hand still outstretched.  
  
"Riku!" Kairi cried as she started to run towards him. But the farther she ran the more she ran the faster her floated away. Soon Riku disappeared entirely.  
  
"Riku!" Kairi cried out. Then she dropped to her knees and started to cry.  
  
~*End Dream*~  
  
"Riku!" Kairi screamed as she quickly sat up from her dream. She looked around at the cave around her and let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, it was only a dream." Kairi got up and walked around the cave looking at all the pictures that were drawn there when the three friends were kids. Then Kairi looked at the picture of she and Sora feeding each other the poupu fruit. Kairi stared at this picture but didn't smile like she always did when she looked at it. The she noticed something lying on the ground. Kairi walked over to it and picked it up. It was an envelope. Kairi turned it around and on the front it said "To Kairi". Kairi raised her eyebrows in curiosity and surprise as she sat on the floor and opened the letter.  
  
"It's from Riku," she gasped. Then she began to read.  
  
~*~  
  
~*Riku's Letter*~  
  
*If anyone should find this letter besides Kairi then please refrain from reading it and give it to her*  
  
Dear Kairi,  
  
If you are reading this letter then it means that I am gone. Don't bother to come look for me either because I don't wish to be reminded of anything back on Destiny Island. I have left because of you really. When Sora and me returned to Destiny Island I thought I'd be happy for the rest of my life and it would be like heaven from then on. But I was incredibly wrong. What I thought was going to be heaven rapidly turned into my own hell. Why was it like this? You may ask. The answer is simple. When I got back you completely ignored me. You acted like I was mister cellophane...I felt completely invisible. All the days of your week you were always with Sora while I faded into the background, like a toy that is on your shelf but over the years it become and a dust-covered mothball. And I can't live like that. I refuse to live that miserable invisible existence. How could you do that to me? I may not have saved you but I went to the deepest, darkest depths to try. I became Ansem's walking talking puppet and you just completely walked right through me and into Sora's arms. Do you really expect me to sit there and watch all this? And besides now hat I'm out of the picture you to can go back to being all over each other and not noticing a little speck walking around in the background. I loved you Kairi. I loved you so much. But if you love someone your not supposed to continue to spend all the days of your week writing poems and songs and just wishing you could talk to them for one second when that person doesn't even know your there.  
  
My mind is made up. I'm leaving. I won't return either. My bags are packed and I'm gone. But before I left I took the time to write you this letter and put a song I wrote for you inside of it. I wrote this song one lonely day when you and Sora were outside talking and having a good time while I was inside watching y'all from a window in my room. It's called Drops of Jupiter and it's just for you:  
  
Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
  
With drops of Jupiter in her hair  
  
She acts like summer and walks like rain  
  
Reminds me that there's time to change  
  
Since the return from her stay on the moon  
  
She listens like spring and she talks like June  
  
Tell me, did you sail across the sun  
  
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded  
  
And that heaven is overrated  
  
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star  
  
One without a permanent scar  
  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there  
  
Now that she's back from that soul vacation  
  
Tracing her way through the constellation  
  
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo  
  
Reminds me that there's room to grow  
  
Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
  
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane  
  
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land  
  
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet  
  
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
  
And head back toward the Milky Way  
  
And tell me, did Venus blow you mind  
  
Was it everything you wanted to find  
  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there  
  
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken  
  
Best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know your wrong  
  
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation  
  
The best soy latte you ever had....and me  
  
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet  
  
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
  
And head back toward the Milky Way  
  
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star  
  
One without a permanent scar  
  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there  
  
~*~  
  
Good-bye Kairi  
  
Love,  
  
Riku  
  
~*End Riku's Letter*~  
  
Tears were flowing down Kairi's face like rain. She was shaking all over as she held the letter in her hand. Her face was as pale as a ghost with deep red splotches all over. Then Kairi couldn't fight her tear anymore. She started to sob hysterically. Then she quickly got up off the floor and ran outside. She ran to the shore of the beach.  
  
"RIKU!" She cried out at the top of her lungs. Then she started to run into the ocean but slipped and fell onto her knees. She sat in the ocean on all fours crying harder than she ever had her entire life. She pounded her fist into the ocean sand and let out a small scream. Then she sat back on her knees and continued to choke on her tears.  
  
"RI KU COME BACK!"  
  
~*~  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Well that's all. In case y'all don't understand that was a song about a guy who has a girlfriend and she goes on an adventure and when she returns she ignores him. I thought it fit so perfectly cause when it says "Did you fall for a shooting star" the shooting star is Sora, and when he says "One without a permanent scar" Riku is talking about how he has a permanent scar from turning to the darkness. And also, this story was only meant to be one chapter long but I'm debating on whether to add more chapters or not, so y'all tell me what you think. That all.  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	2. Easier to Run

Chp 2: Easier to Run  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Easier to Run by Linkin Park  
  
~*~  
  
~*Kairi's POV*~  
  
Three lonely years have past since the day I saw the letter lying in the sand. Three years since the day Riku left and never came back. Three years since my emotions and feelings collapsed. And three years since I began to feel empty and alone. Yes, Sora is here with me but every time I see him guilt and sorrow fills my soul and I think back to the words in that infamous that forever haunts me. I'm not alone on this island but ever since Riku left there's a piece of my heart that feels empty and alone. Would I have felt this way if Riku had left without leaving me the letter? That letter was two things for me: an awakening and a curse. An awakening because it opened my eyes into Riku's feelings, and a curse because those bone-chilling words he spoke hit me like a ton of bricks and scared me. So far I have respected Riku's wishes of not going back for him but it pains me to respect that. Ever since I dropped that letter onto the ground I wanted to grow wings and fly to him and say, "You'll find comfort here". My life as I know it has become a guilty and pathetic existence striving over those haunting words that were written to me those three years ago.  
  
~*~  
  
Later that day  
  
*  
  
Sora and Kairi sat at a table in a table eating their dinner together. Sora devoured his food like he had not a care in the world. Kairi, on the other hand, picked at her food with a fork and out her elbows on the table. Thoughts about Riku raced through her head as they always did. He haunted her mind ever since he left. Her purple eyes started to tear up and she blinked to fight the tears. She wanted to see what it was like to be Riku and hold the tears back for herself. Sora noticed this as he looked up from his plate and spoke up.  
  
"Kairi are you ok?" he asked. Kairi didn't say anything at first and continued to pick at her food but she then straightened up.  
  
"Sora do you miss Riku?" she asked.  
  
"What?" he said in a confused voice.  
  
"Do you miss Riku?" she repeated.  
  
"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?"  
  
"How come you've never tired to bring him home?"  
  
"I did try."  
  
"WHAT? YOU WENT TO FIND RIKU AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" she shouted as she rose up from her desk.  
  
"Well.....no." he said.  
  
"SORA!" she shouted.  
  
"Well sorry, and besides he didn't want me there anyway. In fact right after I said "Hi" his exact words were "Get your ass back home bitch!". He acted as if me coming there was the worse thing in the entire world. He treated me like crap!" Kairi settled down after he said that.  
  
"I'm the reason he's gone in the first place." She said sadly.  
  
"Oh Kairi don't start on that," Sora groaned, "Riku did NOT leave because of you."  
  
"YES HE DID!" she shouted while holding back her tears, "He wrote me a letter saying why he left and it was because of me! He used those exact words: I'm leaving because of you."  
  
"...Really?" Sora asked.  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Oh, you never told me he wrote you a letter." He said quietly.  
  
"Well he did, and it was the most beautiful, darkest, saddest thing I've read in my entire life! I can't concentrate on anything else besides that letter!"  
  
"....When did he write it to you?"  
  
"Three years ago." She replied.  
  
"So you mean to tell me that for three years whenever I was talking to you and I thought you were listening you were thinking about Riku and this....letter?"  
  
"Yes," she said firmly.  
  
"Oh....," he said quietly. And for the first time Sora felt the jealousy that Riku felt all along.  
  
"Sora I'm sorry but I have to go find Riku! I won't feel better about the letter unless I find him and talk to him. It's driving me insane!"  
  
"But Kairi...,"  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"It's just that....well.....,"  
  
"Sora I'm not going to leave you," she said gently, "I won't find Riku and stay with him forever or anything. I just have to talk to him, that's all."  
  
"Alright then." He said trustingly.  
  
"Where did you find him?"  
  
"Traverse Town."  
  
"Ok then....wait, how could you? The worlds are closed off."  
  
"Well I brought Riku and I here from the gummi ship and apparently if you use the warp drive it still works. It's hidden in the palm trees behind my house."  
  
"Thank you Sora!" she gave him an affectionate hug. "I will be back, I promise." Sora smiled at her. She smiled back and then ran off. Sora watched the girl run off and then wiped his eyes to keep his tears from falling.  
  
"So this is what it feels like to be alone."  
  
~*~  
  
It was raining in Traverse Town and Kairi walked through the rain with a crème-colored trench coat and a matching hat. She stepped quickly through the puddles getting water and mud all over her white sneakers. She searched around the town abundantly searching for any sign of the boy she had lost for hours. She had circled around the whole town at least five times. She stopped walking when she got in the middle of the town and threw her hands in the air.  
  
"Agh! It's hopeless! He could be anywhere!" then someone tapped her on the shoulder. She let out a small, frightened scream and jumped as the person who tapped her also jumped with shock. She turned around and a boy with blonde hair was standing there.  
  
"Uhhh, sorry, but are you looking for someone." Kairi examined the boy for a few seconds.  
  
"Yes, an old friend of mine."  
  
"Well, there is a party going on in one of the inns, he might be there."  
  
"Really? Oh thank you! Can you take me there?"  
  
"Sure," he replied.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi stepped into the inn and she was welcomed with acoustic music and loud chattering from all the people inside. She looked around and then hung her coat and hat on the coat rack nearby. She couldn't see anything because of all the people in her way. Only adults and pints of beer on the tables inherited her vision. Kairi broke her way through the lively crowd and sat on one of the bar stools. She looked around once more hoping to find the boy she longed to see more than anything, but she couldn't find him. She leaned her head on the bar in frustrated hopelessness, then women who had a southern accent spoke to her from the other side of the bar.  
  
"Honey, are you all right?" Kairi leaned her head up to see who it was. It was the bar tender. She was a woman in about her late twenties-early thirties and she wore a green shirt with no sleeves, a brown skirt with a black belt, black boots, and her long, dirty-blonde hair had a red bandana on it. Kairi sat up.  
  
"Yah, I'm just kind of flustered that's all."  
  
"Oh, mind tellin' me about it hun?"  
  
"Well I just came here find a REALLY good friend of mine that I haven't seen in three years and I've been absolutely DIEING to see him ever since he left and I can't find him and I'm just mad and frustrated."  
  
"Oh, you're searching for a young man, I see. By the way, the name's Betsy."  
  
"Kairi," she replied as she held out her hand for Betsy to shake.  
  
"Well darling, I don't know what to tell you, but I reckon he's around here somewhere. What does he look like?"  
  
"He's got gorgeous silver hair and the most BEATIFUL aqua eyes I've ever seen. They make me want to melt!" Betsy smiled at her comment.  
  
"Seems to me like you and this fella' were a bit more than friends."  
  
"Well, we were defiantly more than just friends but we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Another boy that we lived with had the same relationship with me too. But one day all of that changed." She said sadly. Betsy thought about the situation for a while.  
  
"Wait a sec...silver hair and aqua eyes?"  
  
"Yes," Kairi said hopefully.  
  
"Oh my deary! You're talking about my baby Riku aren't you?"  
  
"Yes that's him! You know him?"  
  
"Oh baby, he's been like my son ever since he came here! I love that little spitfire! When he came here I gave him a job here and a place to live near me! He's an angel!"  
  
"Wait....Riku works here?" Kairi said excitedly.  
  
"Oh yah, sorry baby, Riku does work here. In fact his shift ended just a few minutes ago! He may still be in here, you can catch him if you hurry!"  
  
"Oh thank you Betsy, thank you!" Then Kairi leaned over the bar and gave her a big hug. Betsy laughed.  
  
"Oh Kairi baby, you're an angel! Now go on, hurry and catch him!" Kairi jumped off of the bar stool and ran around pushing through the crowd of people and jumping up and down to try and spot him. Then she saw the door open and a whisk of silver hair go out.  
  
"RIKU!" she shouted enthusiastically. Then she ran straight for the door. But on her way there someone stepped in her way and she ran smack into them and fell over on the floor. Kairi looked up.  
  
"Hey, watch where you're going!" she shouted, but she had no idea who she was shouting to. Then she heard a girl sniff arrogantly and walk off. She was about Kairi's age and she was very pretty but she had coldness in her eyes.  
  
"Jerk," Kairi said under her breath as she got up and brushed the dust off of her white skirt. Then she ran back for the door and then pushed it open forgetting all about her hat and coat. It wasn't raining anymore anyway. Kairi looked to the left and then to the right quickly. And then she saw the sliver hair once again to the right. She took off running and then she saw his back towards her. Kairi's heart leaped for joy and yet melted at the same time.  
  
"RIKU!" she called out. Riku stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
~*Riku's POV*~  
  
"No, it can't be." I assured myself under my breath. But I'll turn around just to be sure. I turned my head and there she was.  
  
"No...," I said under my breath. That face, those eyes, it can't be. This can't be happening. I shouldn't have turned around I should've took off running when I had the chance. I promised myself I would never see that face again. If I did then those memories would instantly come back. No, this wasn't supposed to happen!  
  
~*~  
  
Memories started to run back to Riku as if they were being released from a cage. Dark memories, sad memories, memories that he had locked in the back of his thoughts. But now those memories were released and ran freely through his head. This all happened from seeing that one face.  
  
"No...no, no, no, no, NO!" he shouted. "Kairi what are you doing here! I told you I never wanted to see you again!"  
  
"But Riku I.....,"  
  
"No buts Kairi! I've never asked you for anything in my life and you couldn't do this ONE thing for me?"  
  
"Riku I'm sorry I couldn't fight the urge to see you!"  
  
"Oh, so now after I wrote you that damned letter you suddenly now have the "urge to see me"?" Kairi was silent. She had no idea what she could say back. So she changed the subject slightly.  
  
"Riku you don't just walk out on people like that!"  
  
"Kairi what would you have done, huh? Would you have remained there and lived with the pain? WOULD YOU? Now I know I'm a strong but when it comes to matters like that, that is my only weakness and I couldn't fight it! Kairi, it's easier to run than to face the pain alone!" Tears started coming down Kairi's face.  
  
"Riku I care for you! I want you to come back!"  
  
"You don't care for me Kairi!" he shouted as tears started to form in his eyes, "Don't you realize if I hadn't have written you that letter you wouldn't even be here? You just feel sorry for me! And of you really truly cared for me you wouldn't have treated me like cellophane! What you're doing now is an act of pity, not care! I.....," Riku stopped in the middle of his speech. He was breathing tear-filled breaths and rubbing his forehead in overwhelmance. That's what he was he was overwhelmed by the memories that had escaped into his thoughts and by the mixed feelings he was feeling right. Kairi watched him break down like that and she could tell everything he was feeling in his face and his tear-filled eyes. She had never seen anything more sad or helpless in her entire life. Then guilt started to sink into her for not respecting Riku's wishes. Riku turned his head and looked at her with the most pathetic eyes ever.  
  
"Kairi please go home," he asked her in helplessness and desperation. Kairi started to cry silently and then turned around and walked away from him as tears fell down her cheeks.  
  
"I shouldn't have come here," she told herself under her breath. Riku watched the girl he once loved walk away from him. He was so confused by these different emotions spilling out from him. It made him angry. He didn't want to cry about it he wanted to scream! More than anything, he wanted to scream. Riku wiped his eyes as rage started to build up inside of him. He tried to calm his rage and desire to scream down.  
  
//It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something more  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
  
The memories I've kept locked away no one can ever see  
  
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away  
  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something more  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a path  
  
Just watching in the sun  
  
All of my helplessness inside  
  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
  
It's so much simpler to change  
  
It's easier to run  
  
Replacing this pain with something more  
  
It's so much easier to go  
  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
  
It's easier to run  
  
It's easier to go//  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi stomped through Traverse Town with angry tears.  
  
"I shouldn't have come here!" she said again, but this time loudly. "I drag my ass all the way up here and for what? NOTHING!" As she shouted out "nothing" she kicked a bottle that was lying on the ground. It hit the local mailbox and caused a dent in it. Kairi looked at the mailbox and then remained still as she thought about the situation. Then she reached in her pocket and pulled out a wrinkled envelope containing the infamous letter inside. Both the letter and the envelope were worn-out and wrinkled because she read it so much and took it wherever she went. Then she started to remember the reason why she came here and remembering the things Riku told her.  
  
~*Flash Back*~  
  
"You don't care for me Kairi...."  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi looked at the letter and then lifted her head up in determination.  
  
"You'll know the truth Riku."  
  
~*The Inn*~  
  
Kairi burst through the door. Betsy was wiping the tables and cleaning up after the party.  
  
"Betsy!" she called out. Betsy gave a small jump in shock. She turned around.  
  
"Kairi baby, what are you doing here?" she asked.  
  
"Betsy, can I stay with you for a while?" Betsy thought about this for a moment but then she saw the determination in Kairi's eyes and knew what was going on. She smiled.  
  
"Of course you can baby!" Kairi smiled and then walked over to her and gave her another hug.  
  
"Thank you Betsy!"  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
That's all! I know Kairi and Riku may seem a tad OOC but we're dealing with complex emotions here! And I know it's a HUGE switch to go from the pretty, mellow Drops of Jupiter to the loud, guitar-driven Linkin Park song but actually it makes perfect sense to me. The song not only shows Riku's desire to scream but it also lets the reader know a lot about what he's thinking. And I'd like some song suggestions from y'all too! I had one suggestion, which I'll use in the future but some more would be helpful. Thank you in advance, That's all Folks!  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	3. Everything You Want

Chp 3: Everything You Want  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon  
  
A/N: In response to Beta Genius's request: Don't worry! The story is NOT gonna be like that. I think that's cheesy too!  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi opened her eyes that morning to a new surrounding than that of Destiny Island. She yawned and got out of her brown bed in Betsy's House and smelled the sweet smell of peaches.  
  
"Mamma!" Kairi said, as she smelled the luscious smell of the peaches. She ran downstairs to find the source of that smell. She stopped at the top of her stairs and looked down at Betsy stirring peaches n' cream oatmeal. Kairi smiled at the warm-hearted women. Betsy smiled back at her.  
  
"Come and get it!" she said. Kairi smiled and ran downstairs in her purple nightgown and sat at the table.  
  
"Morning Betsy!" Kairi said.  
  
"Morning sunshine," she replied, "Baby you're in luck. Betsy makes the best peaches n' cream oatmeal in town!" she said as she poured her a bowl. Betsy sat down beside her. "You know Riku comes in here for breakfast sometimes."  
  
"Really?" Kairi said kind of sadly. Betsy was confused after she said this.  
  
"I thought you'd be more excited baby."  
  
"Well, Riku wasn't very happy to see me."  
  
"Why ever not?"  
  
"Trust me it's a LONG story."  
  
"Well I'm here to listen," Betsy replied.  
  
"Well ok,...it all started when...."  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi told Betsy EVERYTHING from Kairi first coming to the island to the letter and everything in between.  
  
"....And that's my story." Kairi finished. Betsy stared wide-eyed in fascination.  
  
"Now that's a LOT a history." She said.  
  
"Tell me about it," Kairi replied.  
  
"So he doesn't want you to be here at all?"  
  
"No," Kairi sighed sadly. "He thinks I don't care about him at all, but I do, I really do!"  
  
"Well I don't blame him for feeling misplaced and invisible, I'd feel that way if you were all over that Sora kid."  
  
"Yah, don't remind me. He keeps telling me I treated him like cellophane, that's makes me feel SO low." Kairi put her head on her hands in hopelessness. Betsy looked at Kairi in a concerned way. She put her hand on Kairi's shoulder.  
  
"Well baby, you just have to prove to him that you do care for him. It may take a while, but you can never give up if you truly care for him." Kairi smiled at this comment. Then the door swung open. It was Riku.  
  
"Hey Betsy I'm ready for some of that famous oatmea...," but he stopped in the middle of his sentence when he saw Kairi. He looked at her like she had just made a fat joke about his mother (which is the worst look in the world). Then he turned back around and went out the door. Kairi sighed.  
  
"It'll be okay baby," Betsy said as she put her bangs behind her ears affectionately. Kairi smiled.  
  
"I'm gonna go outside and talk to him," she replied. Kairi changed into her normal clothes and went back downstairs as soon as she opened the door. Riku was way ahead of her. As soon as she stepped outside he grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.  
  
"What are you doing? I told you to go home?" he hissed in a whispered tone.  
  
"Why are you whispering?" she whispered back.  
  
"Don't change the subject," he continued to whisper, "I told you to go! I meant it!"  
  
"I'm not going Riku! I'm not going to leave things like they are!"  
  
"Well maybe if you hadn't treated me like cellophane they wouldn't be this way!"  
  
"Stop saying I treated you like cellophane!"  
  
"Well you did!" They went on hissing at each other indistinctly for a while and then a young voice spoke up from behind them.  
  
"Riku what's wrong?" At that second Riku turned around and hid Kairi behind him at the same time.  
  
"Uh, nothing's wrong, nothing at all." He said nervously.  
  
"I thought I heard you yelling at someone."  
  
"Well maybe you're just hearing things." Then Kairi bit Riku's back. "Ow!" he shouted. He bent over in agony and tripped Kairi. She landed on the floor and Riku was moving aside in pain. When the girl saw Kairi she scowled.  
  
"And who is this?" she demanded.  
  
"Well, she's uh...um, well..it's actually a pretty funny story...you see..um..."  
  
"Wait a sec." Kairi said under her breath as she looked up to that girl from the floor.  
  
~*Flashback*~  
  
Kairi looked up to see who had tripped her.  
  
"Jerk," she said under her breath.  
  
~*~  
  
It was that girl who had tripped her last night. Kairi got up off the floor.  
  
"Well who are YOU?" Kairi said back with an attitude in her voice. Riku immediately  
  
"She's a girl! She's just a girl I know! She's..."  
  
"I'm Riku's girlfriend," she said. Kairi stared wide-eyed at the girl. Despite being very mean she was also very pretty. She had long, straight, brown hair and sparkling green eyes. She wore a long purple skirt and a purple tank top to go with it. Kairi glared at Riku and he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Oh really?" Kairi said in a fake interested voice.  
  
"Yes!" she said, "Right when he came on this island he was blown away by my beauty and asked me out right away. And we've been together ever since." She said as she walked over to Riku and put her arms around him. "Isn't that right baby?" she asked as she planted a kiss on his lips. Riku and Kairi were looked in a stare as she said through the whole speech and the kiss as well. Riku didn't say anything back at first because of the stare he and Kairi were in. This made his girlfriend mad. "Right baby!" she asked more aggressively as she slapped the back of his head. Riku was then locked out of the stare.  
  
"Oh, umm...yah I guess." He said quietly.  
  
"You guess?" she said with a scorn. Kairi raised her eyebrows at all of this.  
  
"Aren't you going to introduce me Riku?" she growled in his direction.  
  
"Um, yah. Well, this is..."  
  
"I'm Faye!" she interrupted as she stuck her hand out in Kairi's face. She was about to shake it but Faye pulled her hand away quickly. "Oh wait I forgot I just painted my nails, you can't shake my hand you'll smudge the paint, sorry!"  
  
"Uh yah," Kairi replied in a slightly disgusted tone as she looked at Riku. Riku wanted to hide under a rock at all of this. He kept wiping his forehead and trying to look at anything except Kairi. "Well I better go now," Kairi said. "It was nice meeting you Faye."  
  
"Ok, bye now! Me and my baby need to be alone now!" she said obnoxiously. Kairi gave her a fake smile then turned around and walked away. When she had her back turned Kairi didn't know whether to laugh or be very furious, she just kept walking. Riku was watching her walk as Faye was snuggling up to him. He was steaming. He knew she was laughing with pleasure on the inside at his embarrassing other half, and he wasn't going to be laughed at.  
  
"Baby, wait here," he said as he took her arms from around him. She scoffed loudly as he walked away from her to Kairi. When he caught up with her, sure enough, she was smiling with pleasure to see Riku being embarrassed by his girlfriend.  
  
"Kairi don't you start on my girlfriend! I...."  
  
" 'You'll smudge my nail polish?'" Kairi quoted. Riku turned red in anger and embarrassment.  
  
"Kairi you shut up about her! I won't have you making fun of her! She's very important to me."  
  
"Oh yah, and y'all just make SUCH a perfect couple!" Kairi said sarcastically.  
  
"Kairi! You stop it!" Kairi couldn't help but giggle. Riku fumed at this. "Like I said, she's very important to me and...."  
  
"Then how come you didn't want me to meet her?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me! You didn't want me to meet her!"  
  
"What do you mean?...I was gonna introduce y'all!"  
  
"Riku! You hid me behind your back!" Riku was at a loss for words at this statement.  
  
"Ok, so maybe I didn't want you to meet her...but that's because I knew you'd judge us, like you're doing right now! Well Kairi, I don't need YOU judging me least of all."  
  
"Riku! You and that girl are exact one hundred percent opposites! I think she's just your rebound!"  
  
"REBOUND!" Riku shouted. "What, so you're saying that I just dated her to get over you." Kairi looked at him darkly.  
  
"Yes that's exactly what I'm saying."  
  
"Kairi that's so selfish! In fact I think you're jealous!"  
  
"JEALOUS? You wish!" she responded coldly.  
  
"Well you may think of her as a rebound but she's everything I want! She's always there for me unlike you! She doesn't treat me like cellophane Kairi!" Kairi glared at him madly after this.  
  
"Riku, I know you're not happy with her. She may be everything you want right now but that doesn't mean she's right for you! Maybe what you want and need right now is someone to be there to make you forget about your past. I bet she means nothing to you! She's just there when you need her!"  
  
"Kairi, take that back! I don't need you or anyone else judging me and thinking they know what's best for me! You don't know anything Kairi! How dare you go around saying she means nothing to me when I obviously meant nothing to you? You think what you want Kairi, but I know that she is the one for me! So don't go telling me that she means nothing to me because YOU'RE the one who means nothing to me now!" He then stormed away from Kairi who had tears of anger in her eyes. He then grabbed Faye by the waist, and gave a small glare at Kairi to make sure she was watching.  
  
"I'm sorry that took so long." Then he pulled her in for a kiss which she accepted fully as she wrapped her arms around his neck. An angry tear escaped from Kairi as she watched this. She then turned around and walked away. As she was walking she waited until she was far away from Riku and Faye to start crying. She kicked the dirt as she sobbed while walking down the alleyways all alone.  
  
"Why am I crying?" she asked herself through her tears. "I should care less if Riku has a girlfriend. I don't mean anything to him and now he doesn't mean anything to me..I think." Kairi rested herself against a brick wall. "I mean is it because I'm jealous..."right after she said that reality snapped into her head. "....I'm jealous," she admitted. Kairi wiped her tears away. "Well I guess this is what I deserve...to feel what Riku was feeling back on Destiny Island. The more I think about it though, the more jealous I realize I am. What's he doing with her anyway? They're totally different. She's a girly girl and Riku is adventurous and brave. They don't match at all!"  
  
~*~  
  
Riku walked down the lonely, dark ally ways of Traverse Town with his hands in his pockets and kicking around he rocks in front of him. The things Kairi said were running through his head.  
  
'Maybe what you want and need right now is someone to be there for you to make you forget about your past.'  
  
Kairi was right about everything though. She was his rebound girl. He only dated her to erase the memory of Kairi, which she was pretty successful at so they remained boyfriend and girlfriend all those three years. He didn't have any true feelings for her though, he only remained with her for the exact reason Kairi said: to help him forget about his past.  
  
"What am I gonna do?" Riku asked himself. "She was right on target!" Riku stopped walking and leaned up against the walls and thought about his situation. "Well, as ling as she's hear I'll just have to make her think that I really do have feelings for her." Riku paused and thought after saying this. "Kairi may have broken my heart but I don't like the idea of lying to her. But maybe if she sees how happy I am with Faye she'll go away. And I'll never have to think back to my past ever again. The problem is pretending that I have real feelings for Faye...."  
  
~*Kairi's room/ Kairi's POV*~  
  
Kairi was lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling as thoughts of Riku and Faye ran through her head.  
  
It's amazing how much Riku has made my life change. With a simple letter he's turned the world around made me experience it from his point of view. He works in mysterious ways like that. Well I guess I deserve all of what he felt. Instead of him being jealous of Sora and me now it's me jealous of him and Faye!  
  
Kairi stuffed her head under her pillow.  
  
I don't know hat he sees in her though. Yes she's pretty, but there's more to love than looks. I know Riku wouldn't date anyone like her! Well whatever he sees in her, it makes me sick to think about them together, I guess I'm more jealous than I thought.  
  
Kairi dropped her pillow to the floor and sat on her knees  
  
"I JUST WANT MY FRIEND BACK!" she shouted at the sky. She fell into a fettle position back on the bed and then spread back out into the position she was in.  
  
"But I wonder if I was right..maybe Riku is using her as a band-aid for the wounds of his past....and that's all...."  
  
//Somewhere there's speaking  
  
It's already coming in  
  
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind  
  
You never could get it  
  
Unless you were fed it  
  
Now I'm here and you don't know why  
  
But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
  
Past the places where you used to learn  
  
You howl and listen  
  
Listen and wait for the  
  
Echoes of angels who won't return  
  
She's everything you want  
  
She's everything you need  
  
She's everything inside of you that you wish you could be  
  
She says all the right things  
  
At exactly the right time  
  
But she means nothing to you  
  
And you don't know why  
  
You're waiting for someone  
  
To put you together  
  
You're waiting for someone to push you away  
  
There's always another wound to discover  
  
There's always something more you wish she'd say  
  
She's everything you want  
  
She's everything you need  
  
She's everything inside of you  
  
That you wish you could be  
  
She says all the right things  
  
At exactly the right time  
  
But she means nothing to you  
  
And you don't know why  
  
But you'll just sit tight  
  
And watch it unwind  
  
It'd only what you're asking for  
  
And you'll be just fine  
  
With all of your time  
  
It's only what you're waiting for  
  
Out of the island  
  
Into the highway  
  
Past the places where you might have turned  
  
You never did notice  
  
But you still hide away  
  
The anger of angels who won't return  
  
She's everything you want  
  
She's everything you need  
  
She's everything inside of you  
  
That you wish you could be  
  
She says all the right things  
  
At exactly the right time  
  
But she means nothing to you  
  
And you don't know why  
  
I am everything you want  
  
I am everything you need  
  
I am everything inside of you  
  
That you wish you could be  
  
But I did all the wrong things  
  
At exactly the right time  
  
Now I mean nothing to you and I don't know why  
  
Why  
  
I don't know why//  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hey y'all! I take every song on here in deep consideration, and this song worked this time because she's obviously talking about his girlfriend that's all wrong for him but also about how he wants to forget his past. By the way, when it says "echoes of angels who won't return" they're talking about how is soul used to sing out when he was happy. I'm still taking song suggestions but here's the thing: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!! So suggestions would be REALLY helpful. Thank You and please R/R!!  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	4. Nobody's Listening

Chp 4: Nobody's Listening  
  
~*~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Nobody's Listening" by Linkin Park  
  
A/N: Thanks for all the love y'all!  
  
~*~  
  
Tonight Kairi wasn't sleeping like an angel or a princess. She had a scowl on her face all night long and tossed and turned nonstop. Kairi was awakened this morning, not by the pleasant scent of peaches n' cream, but sun's light hitting her eyes full of anger. She groaned and rolled out of bed. Her brown hair was a wild mess and she had a mug on her face to match. She walked slowly down the stairs as opposed to yesterday when she ran down with a smile. When she reached the bottom she stumbled over to the table and clomped down on the chair. Betsy stepped out of the kitchen with a plate full of strawberry muffins. She saw the expression Kairi was wearing and chuckled.  
  
"Well good morning sunshine," she said sarcastically with a smile. Kairi groaned as her response, which made Betsy laugh even more. "What's troubling you peaches?" Kairi smiled softly. This was her first smile of the morning.  
  
"My mom used to call me peaches." Kairi said quietly. Betsy smiled.  
  
"Do you miss her?" she asked.  
  
"She called me peaches before we went to Destiny Island. When we came there I spent less time with her and more time with Sora and Riku. When that happened she called me peaches less and less. She doesn't call me that anymore now, we don't speak very often." Betsy smiled warmly and sat down beside her. She ran her fingers through her hair affectionately.  
  
"Aw, Kairi darlin', you're the sweetest thing. Now why don't you tell ol' Betsy what's troubling you?" Kairi smiled meekly.  
  
"Riku," she sighed.  
  
"Oh, it all comes back to Riku," Betsy replied with a smile.  
  
"Yah, speaking of Riku, why didn't you tell me he had a girlfriend?" Kairi asked.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry baby! I completely forgot about her! But even so, I try no to think about her. Betsy doesn't like Faye that much. That girl is all wrong for my Riku!"  
  
"I know!" Kairi protested, "They're like exact 100% polar opposites!"  
  
"I know!" Betsy agreed, "It's real sad sometimes too! I mean, whenever Riku wants to go play kickball or King of the Mountain with all the guys around Traverse Town, and you know, be a guy, Faye always makes him stay with her and watch her practice her flute or something. And whenever he tries to persuade her to do the things he likes with her she's always like "no I'll break a nail" or something like that!"  
  
"Yah, I mean, she is SUCH a prep and Riku told me that he can't stand preps and he's acting like he's all in love with one!"  
  
"Riku told you that?" Betsy asked.  
  
"Yah, back when he used to tell me stuff," Kairi replied sadly. "I tried to tell him Faye is all wrong for him and then he told me to stop judging him and we got into this big argument, and then he goes off and kisses her just to piss me off!" Kairi put her hands on her head in frustration.  
  
"Well baby cakes, what can I say, guys are just stupid like that!" They both giggled at her comment. They continued talking about the situation and then the door swung open. They could hear Riku's voice in the back ground saying "No, don't go in there, no!" and stuff like that and then Faye stepped in the front door wearing her lavender nightgown.  
  
"Betsy...Kairi," she greeted arrogantly, "We'll be eating breakfast here." Kairi was watching Riku behind her as he slapped his hand on his head in frustration. Faye walked over and sat on the opposite side of Kairi. The three girls stared at Riku.  
  
"Well, um..." he said as he scratched the back of his head, "Actually, I'm not that hungry so I'm just gonna go." He turned for the door.  
  
"Oh Riku, you were just telling me how starved you were. I don't see what all the fuss is about over coming here!" Faye's voice boomed stopping Riku dead in his tracks. Riku stayed with his back turned for a second, and Kairi noticed that he clinched his fists. He turned around.  
  
"Well...." He said while trying to look at anything but Kairi. Kairi scowled.  
  
"Yah Riku," she said breaking the silence, "you can eat here!" she said slightly aggressively as she pushed a chair at him. "What are you scared or something?"  
  
"No!" he immediately responded. He pulled a chair out and sat down by Faye. Faye was looking in he pocket mirror and fixing her hair while Riku and Kairi were locked in a death glare. Betsy raised her eyebrows at this situation.  
  
"Well I'm gonna get some milk!" she said as an excuse to leave for a few minutes. Kairi and Riku were still locked in that stare. Faye snapped her pocket mirror shut.  
  
"So,..yesterday I visiting my friend Sara and get this: she's wearing this TOTALLY hideous orange nail polish! Can you believe that? And I'm all like: Sara you need to like...." Faye went on chattering indistinctly, nonstop. Kairi and Riku never took their eyes full of anger of off each other. That's all they did. Neither of them spoke. They just got lost in each other's eyes full of anger and angst, waiting for the other to snap. Faye went on talking in her prissy, princess ways and this was severely annoying Riku since he was sitting beside her as she chattered away with no sign of stopping. Through all his frustration he dug his nails into the table. This was more than just a contest with Kairi to see who cracks first....this was about much more. It was about his rage and frustration that was building up from Kairi's sudden presence in his life and from his conceited girlfriend that Kairi only cared about herself and didn't even bother to ask why he was so angry. Riku's nails dug deeper into the table as Faye kept talking. Anger, rage, frustration, these things swirled through his head viscously as he heard Faye's annoying and horribly conceited speech and stared into Kairi's angry eyes at the same time. His rage was building and building until finally he had reached well past his boiling point. Something had to go. Riku pounded his fists on the table, got up, tipped over his chair, and whipped his head to his so-called girlfriend.  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP FAYE! NOBODY CARES!" He screamed this so loud everybody in Traverse Town could hear him. His face was deep red and his nails were digging into his palms as he breathed heavily to regain his breath from his screaming. Kairi had her back all the way up against the chair and was panting from shock with eyes so wide could see her retina from a mile away. Betsy poked her head out from the kitchen door with a very white face and bewildered expression. Faye, one the other hand, had tears in her eyes.  
  
"Well fine then!" she cried. She got up and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Riku was still standing up, still digging his nails into his palms, still breathing hard, and still had rage and frustration in his eyes. He looked over at Kairi. Kairi stared back at him with an expression between shocked and terrified.  
  
"Well I guess you won!" he spit out at her. Then he turned around and walked away, slamming the door so hard a picture knocked of the wall. As soon as he did Kairi clamped her hand over her mouth to fight back her sobbing as tears were starting to run out of her eyes. Betsy rushed over to her and hugged her tightly.  
  
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry!"  
  
"What happened to him?" Kairi cried, "He's never acted like that ever! I know that was about way more than our staring contest thing we were doing!" Betsy kissed Kairi's forehead.  
  
"Oh darlin' he's just frustrated."  
  
"At what? I know he's frustrated with me but that had to be more than just me!"  
  
"Well hun, try to put yourself in his shoes. Imagine all that he's been through in life. All Riku wanted to be was your knight in shining armor, but you took that privilege away from him and broke his heart. You don't know what having your heart broken is like baby, and he found out at too young of an age and it scared him. He came here to escape his past and from you. He's now with someone that makes him unhappy but he stays with her because she's the only thing that keeps his mind of off you. And that's what he wants; he wants to forget about you. I know that swallowing your emotions is bad, but that's what he was forced to do in order to forget about you. Then you come out of the blue and now even Faye can't help him. But he knows that the longer you stay then the more chances he'll have of losing Faye, and if he loses her then he'll have no one to help him soothe the wounds of his past. He craves to be happy again Kairi, but he's too blind too see that Faye isn't going to help him forget you, she may mask the memories of his past for a while, but she can't blind him completely. That's exactly what I told Riku. I said "Riku baby, you can run, you can hide, but you can't escape your past. It'll come around again one day". Of course then he didn't take what I said seriously, but when you came it freaked him out and all his memories came back. Just the mere sight of brought all the memories and the emotions back. And that infuriates him. He can't live with himself knowing that no matter what he does, you'll always be there, and you coming here proves it. And you also opened his eyes to how horrible Faye is for him. Kairi, he's been escaping his past all his life. And at the table he realized that he can't run from life. He's trapped Kairi. And he doesn't know where to go. And realized this all just from seeing your pretty face again. And it frustrates him. He's angry with himself for not being strong enough to run, and he's angry at life for doing this to him. And the worst part is that today he realized that he was truly trapped. And on top of all of that since you released the memories of his past, they constantly haunt his mind and now all he has is a heart full of pain, a life that he now hates, and memories of his broken heart. That's why he wants to stay away from you Kairi, he's scared of getting his heart broken again. It's hard to explain darlin', Riku's heart is so heavy right now. It's hard to put it into words. But I do know for sure, that he is suffering."  
  
"How do you know all this?" Kairi asked slowly.  
  
"Well, since Faye is so self-centered and he can't really talk to her, he comes to me with all of his problems. It's so sad. My poor baby Riku is so trapped. It's like he makes the right moves but he's lost within." Kairi straightened up at this statement.  
  
"He's not the only one that's trapped, I'm trapped too! I came here just to see Riku again and talk to him and try to prove that everything he wrote to me in that letter is wrong. But I come here and he's got a girl on his hands that's all wrong for him and I've become frustrated and jealous. I felt all these new things about feelings for Riku and I just want so much to take him in my arms and hold him. But he's pushing me away, and the more he does that the more my feelings grow and now I'm trapped in a cage of emotions. I know it may not sound like much but picture this: My cage of emotions is a place where you can't breath, you can't think, and you feel sick to your stomach, and when he comes around these things grow and grow, but he keeps pushing me farther away and my cage becomes smaller and smaller, soon I'll be stuck in a little box curled up in a fettle position of broken feelings! And the only person who can set me free is Riku!" Kairi put her hands on her head in hopelessness. Betsy rubbed her back.  
  
"Oh, my poor baby. Y'all are both to young to deal with these things. But you have to be patient with Riku baby. He's got a head full of anger and a chest full of stress. If anyone makes the wrong moves around him he'll lash out like he did this morning. I know y'all both are now in a place where you can't breath and there's no way of escaping, but no one said life was easy darlin'. Don't worry hun; things will clear up one day, maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday. The aftermath maybe tragic, but like I said, life ain't easy."  
  
~*~  
  
Riku walked down the alleyways searching for Faye. He had a lot of damage control to do from the aftermath of this sudden lashing out at the breakfast table. He found her sitting on a wooden crate crying softly.  
  
"Faye?" he said softly.  
  
"Go away," she sniffed, "I'm mad at you." Riku sat down beside her.  
  
"Faye, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was just very frustrated at the moment."  
  
"Riku, you tipped over a chair."  
  
"I'm sorry! I just have a lot to deal with right now." Faye paused and looked at him with icy eyes.  
  
"This is all about that Kairi girl isn't it?"  
  
"No," he said immediately responded.  
  
"Yes it is!" she said as she raised her voice, "You never acted that way before she came!" Riku paused.  
  
"Ok maybe it is a bit about Kairi." Faye sniffed at this.  
  
"I knew it, you're all over her now!"  
  
"Hell no I'm not!" Riku said as he raised his own voice.  
  
"Riku I'm not a dumb ass! I see the way you two look at each other!"  
  
"Faye...." Riku was at a loss for words. "Faye, I've never asked you to do anything, but I have to ask you that whatever is going on between me and Kairi I need you to stay out of it!"  
  
"Why?" she snorted.  
  
"Because,...well this feud between us goes back farther than you think?"  
  
"What? You mean y'all go all the way back to the sandbox?"  
  
"Faye! That's not the point! Now you have to promise to stay out of this!"  
  
"And what if I don't?"  
  
"If you don't then THIS," he said as he pointed to him and Faye, "is over!" Faye froze.  
  
"I'm sorry Riku," he said as she hugged him, "I'll stay out of it...I promise." Riku sighed and then hugged her back. They embraced for a while.  
  
"Meet me later ok? I need to talk to Kairi."  
  
"Ok," Faye responded slightly insecurely. Riku kissed Faye on the cheek then took off. When Riku's back was turned a dark look went across Faye's face.  
  
"Kairi...."  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi was outside of Betsy's house throwing a softball up against the walls and practicing her catching. She was unaware that Riku was approaching her. As Riku approached her and watched her play with the softball a minor flashback went through his head.  
  
~*Flash Back*~  
  
"Oh wait you can't shake my hand, I just painted my nails and you'll smudge the paint, sorry!"  
  
~*End*~  
  
Riku groaned. Kairi threw the softball and Riku stepped in its way and he caught it himself. Kairi's eyes widened and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds.  
  
"Nice catch," Kairi said softly.  
  
"Thanks," Riku replied as he threw the softball back to her. Kairi caught it and raised her eyebrows arrogantly.  
  
"So, does Faye know how to catch?" Riku scowled at her. He walked slowly towards her.  
  
"Kairi I came here to tell you that you've disrespected my wishes for you to stay in Destiny Islands, and my wishes for you to go back home, but I'm not allowing this to happen anymore." They were now mere centimeters from each other as they looked into each other's eyes with disgust and hate. "Kairi I don't want you making fun of my girlfriend." Kairi smirked at this.  
  
"Maybe I wouldn't if she wasn't such an easy target."  
  
"Kairi! You stop that! I've asked you to do lots of things for me and they've been ignored but I'm asking....no, I'm telling you to stay away from Faye." Kairi scowled at him.  
  
"Why? Why does it matter that I'm around her? And that I make fun of her?"  
  
"Because you'll screw everything up."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What am I screwing up Riku?"  
  
"Uh, let's see: my feelings, my relationship, my sanity, my LIFE," Riku shouted. Then he scoffed loudly and turned around and walked fiercely away.  
  
"And just how am I screwing up your life?" Riku turned around and glared at her.  
  
"Kairi, I turned to darkness for you and didn't even get a half-ass thank- you, you messed up my feelings, you ignored me, you broke my heart, if you do anything to mess it up for me and Faye...you might as well shoot me." Kairi didn't have anything to say back, she just stared at the ground with tears of anger in her eyes.  
  
"Why you care if I screw it up for you and Faye?" she asked as her breath started to grow teary. Riku was silent.  
  
"That's not important! You just stay away from her!" (A/N: If you remember what Betsy said to Kairi you'll find out why.) Kairi glared darkly at him.  
  
"Fine," she hissed, "I'll stay away from your precious Faye!" Riku glared at her then turned around and walked away.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi was walking around outside thinking about what Riku had told her. It was a beautiful day outside and it was oddly quiet outside. Kairi sighed.  
  
"Man you'd think with a day like this things would be louder than usual." Then a boy wearing a blue baseball hat ran towards her. He stopped in front of her and bent over as he panted. Then he grabbed her hand.  
  
"Come on, we need you," he uttered under his panting.  
  
"Need me for what?" but then he ran off with her. He took her to the middle of the Third District where a bunch of kids were standing around. The boy took Kairi to the center of the huddle.  
  
"Ok," he panted, "Now we have enough people to play." He turned to Kairi, "By the way we're having a baseball tournament. Kairi giggled.  
  
"Ok that sounds fun." She looked around and noticed she was the only girl.  
  
"Ok!" one of the boys shouted as he stepped into the middle of the circle. He was very tall boy with blonde hair and green eyes. "Me and Riku are captains!" Kairi's eyes widened at the mention of his name. Her head whipped around and Riku stepped out from the crowd. He glared at Kairi then turned his head to the boy.  
  
"Ok Jay," he said to him.  
  
"Heads or Tails?" Jay asked as he took out his coin.  
  
"Heads." Jay flipped the coin.  
  
"Alright my man, you pick first."  
  
"Wait!" Faye's voice called out into the crowd. She stepped in the middle of the circle. "I want to play to." All the guys snickered.  
  
"What are you gonna do?" one of them called out, "be cheerleader?" The congregation laughed hardly. Riku fumed.  
  
"Shut up Thomas," he spat at the boy. Riku then grabbed Faye's arm and pulled her away from the circle. "What are you doing?" he hissed in a whispered tone. "You don't know how to play baseball! Wait, do you even know what baseball is?"  
  
"I know what baseball is!" Faye scowled. "Come one Riku let me play!" Riku then closed his eyes tightly to fight back anything else that was coming out.  
  
"Fine!" he said, "Just don't embarrass me." Faye smiled and clapped her hands together as she skipped of into the crowd. Riku looked up at the sky.  
  
"Please don't let her embarrass me!" he begged. The captains picked teams and Faye ended up on Riku's team and Kairi on Jay's team.  
  
"Ok kids, let's play!" Then the group separated into their teams. As Kairi was running off someone ran into her purposely.  
  
"Hey, what's your problem ma." she turned around and Faye was standing their smirking.  
  
"You better watch your back!" she called out. Kairi rolled her eyes and then ran off with her team.  
  
"What was that all about?" she said under her breath.  
  
~*3rd Inning*~  
  
The score was tied at 3-3 and then Faye stepped up to bat. Riku had already found a nice place to hide to spare him the embarrassment of being jeered at about Faye totally beefing it at the plate. When she was up there all the guys in the outfield taunted her.  
  
"I hope you don't break a nail Faye!"  
  
"Why don't you go back to the beauty parlor where you belong!"  
  
"Man, you need to go back to playin' with dolls!"  
  
"You're goin' down girl!" Kairi, who was at third base, smirked at all of this.  
  
"Well this should be interesting!" she said. The pitcher snickered then threw his first pitch. Faye swung and missed it by a mile. The guys jeered at her. Faye scowled at all of them and then she noticed Kairi at third base. She tightened her grip on the bat.  
  
"You're goin' down," she whispered under her breath. The pitcher threw the ball again. This time Faye hit it and it sailed straight towards Kairi at a high speed. Kairi had to duck to keep her head from being knocked off. Kairi straightened up and stared at Faye with disbelief, as did everyone else on the field. No one even went after the ball. There was complete silence as everyone stared wide-eyed at what they just witnessed. Riku got out from his hiding place and also stared with disbelief. Faye smirked then walked casually to first base. Riku's eye's widened.  
  
"Oh no....," he said under his breath as the vision of Faye hitting the ball at Kairi ran through his head. One of the guys finally snapped out of it and went and got the ball. When this happened everyone went back to normal. Kairi was still stiffed, as the shock from the ball heading straight towards her hadn't shaken yet. Kairi snapped out of it and her eyes grew cold as she glared at Faye who was standing on first base like she was the queen bee.  
  
"Oh it's on now!" she said under her breath. The rest of the game for Faye and Kairi consisted of baseballs being thrown at hit at each other, lots of jeering, and death glares. The game was over and Riku's team had won (11- 13) but Riku's mind was on the fighting that had been commenced by Faye. He was furious.  
  
"I told her to stay out of this!" he hissed under his breath.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi walked fiercely down Traverse Town looking for Faye. She finally found her walking in front of her. Kairi glared at the girl.  
  
"Hey!" she called out aggressively. Faye turned around.  
  
"What do you want?" she asked arrogantly.  
  
"Oh, you wanna know what my problem is? My problem is your little punk-ass coming in here thinking you can steal my guy you little man eater!"  
  
"Oh you wish! I ain't trying to steal your man!"  
  
"That's bull! I see right past you always pulling him to the side when he's around me talking to him! You disgust me you little slut!" Kairi fumed at this.  
  
"Yah well even if I did steal your man I'd be doing him a favor cause I'd be relieving him from your stupid, preppy, conceited ass!"  
  
"Why I oughta..." Faye growled as she stepped towards Kairi.  
  
"Oh, don't step so hard Faye, you'll smudge your toenail polish!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Why don't you shut up prep?"  
  
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Riku came up from behind them. His face was red and he was glaring fiercely at both of them. "Is anybody listening? Can anybody hear a word I'm saying? Kairi, I told you to leave Faye alone and Faye, I told you to stay out of this! Did y'all not hear a word I've said? Did y'all think I was kidding because hell no I wasn't! Damn, and y'all wonder why I get mad!" Both Faye and Kairi were frozen in their guilty tracks. "Man, what am I saying? Y'all don't care about what I want." Then he turned around and walked sadly away. When he walked away Faye started crying and then ran off. Kairi felt like doing the exact same thing but her body wouldn't allow her to. She stared sadly at Riku walking away.  
  
"I'm sorry Riku," she whispered sadly. Then a tear fell down her face.  
  
~*~  
  
~*Riku's Room*~  
  
Riku lied on his bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what had happened.  
  
"They both screwed it up," he hissed. "If they had just stayed away from each other everything would've been fine! Why won't anybody listen me?" Riku pounded his fist on his mattress. He had an unhealthy level of frustration in him. He had to get it out or he would explode on someone. Riku looked around the room for something to let his anger out on. He tried punching his pillow but that wasn't enough. He got up from his bed and looked around for something, anything to help him get his anger off of his chest. Then he looked over at his desk. He approached it slowly and opened it. Inside of his desk was a notebook, not just any notebook, but the notebook he poured all his soul out on back when he lived on Destiny Island in his days of loneliness. It was the notebook he had written Kairi's letter in. He took the book and sat on his bed as he flipped through all of his angst-driven songs, poems, and thoughts he had written. Riku picked up a nearby pencil and tapped it on the notebook in thought. Then he flipped to any empty page and poured out his feelings onto the page.  
  
// (Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)  
  
(Called you so clearly but you don't want to hear)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)  
  
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress  
  
Head full of anger, held in my chest  
  
And everything left's a waste of time  
  
I hate my rhymes, but I hate everyone else's more  
  
I'm riding on the back of this pressure  
  
Guessing that it's better I can't keep myself together  
  
Because all of this stress gave me something to write on  
  
The pain gave me something I could set my sights on  
  
Never forget the blood, sweat, and tears  
  
The uphill struggle over the years the fear and  
  
Trash talking and people who started it was to  
  
And the people that started it just like you  
  
(Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)  
  
(Called to you so clearly but you don't want to hear me)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)  
  
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress  
  
Head full of anger, held up in my chest  
  
Uphill struggle  
  
Blood, sweat, and tears  
  
Nothing to gain  
  
Everything to fear  
  
Heart full of pain, head full of stress  
  
Head full of anger, held in my chest  
  
Uphill struggle  
  
Blood, sweat, and tears  
  
Nothing to gain  
  
Everything to fear  
  
...Heart full of pain  
  
(Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)  
  
(Called to you so clearly but you don't want to hear me)  
  
Told you everything loud and clear  
  
(But nobody's listening)//  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Man, it's funny how you can go from having no clue what happens next to 13- page plot outburst. In case y'all are confused, Riku is now infuriated because he knows that he's trapped in life, he has a blow-hard girlfriend, and Kairi brings back memories that pains him to think about. And he wanted to keep Faye and Kairi away from each other because when he sees them together it just doubles his pain. When he told them to stay away from each other, they wouldn't listen and he now knows that no matter what he does, Faye and Kairi will always be there to screw up his life. That's just the small version of what he's feeling, and for full details read back to what Betsy says to Kairi and what is going through Riku's head before he blows up on Faye. Well that's all for now. Once again, thanks for all the love, it's really encouraging! Y'all rock!  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	5. Mister Cellophane

Chp 5: Mister Cellophane  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Mister Cellophane" as seen in Chicago  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Here are some responses to some of your reviews:  
  
heather b: thank you for all of your wonderful song suggestions, and after evaluating what I'd like to happen in the story so far, I'll use your idea for "Unwanted". And by the way I'm from Alabama so that should clear up the "y'all" thing  
  
Beta Genius: you can probably tell I've seen Chicago now! Anyway, I saw that movie right before I wrote this story, and that song and the references they make to cellophane, gave me inspirations for this story.  
  
Note for EVERYBODY: Man, I went from having to create the story with my ideas only, to having LOTS of really wonderful ideas from a lot of you. I can only use so many because I'm shooting for a certain angle but I appreciate every suggestion made (man, I've been getting requests for Avril Lavigne a lot, hehe). Well anyway, I'm going to add this one chapter in where Kairi REALLY starts to fall for Riku and Riku is faced with a totally new conflict. After this, the story can go absolutely anywhere. So if any of y'all have any more suggestions you have to feed em' to me quick so I can try to make them all come together someway. Thanks in advance.  
  
~*~  
  
*  
  
*  
  
* Riku walked slowly down Traverse Town, kicking the rocks that scattered the floor as he pondered his dreary thoughts. His head was full but his chest had been relieved of some frustration and stress. He knew this would only last temporarily but he had no way to shake it. He wasn't sure what he felt. He was confused and lost as his horrible situation ran through his head. Everything inside of him was so mixed up he couldn't explain what was happening to him. Nothing made sense to him anymore. Riku stopped walking. He was so angry at everything: at Faye, at Kairi, at himself, he just didn't know what to think anymore. Riku punched his fist into the wall.  
  
"Why me?" Then he heard footsteps coming up behind him. He turned around quickly. It was Faye. Her eyes were cold and serious.  
  
"Hi Faye, what do you want?"  
  
"You've been acting very strangely lately."  
  
"Yah? So what?" he replied with an attitude. He didn't like Faye when she acted like this. She was his girlfriend but he wanted her to stay as far from his personal life as humanly possible.  
  
"You never acted that way when Kairi wasn't here," she said seriously.  
  
"Yah, and....?"  
  
"I think there's more to her than you say there is."  
  
"So what if there is?"  
  
"Riku, you've been acting angry lately, and it's all because of her."  
  
"So what are you trying to say?" Faye paused and glared at him with cold eyes.  
  
"You loved her once, didn't you?" she asked. Riku paused. He didn't want Faye knowing about anything that happened between he and Kairi. He knew she'd read too much into it. But he answered truthfully.  
  
"I thought I did," he said softly.  
  
"What the hell does that mean? You either did or you didn't. Now tell me which one!" Riku got mad at this. No one talked to him like that.  
  
"I don't have to do that. You're not my mom!"  
  
"Which one Riku?" she persisted. Riku got annoyed at this.  
  
"I did! Ok? I loved Kairi, but I don't anymore. There! Are you happy? What are you gonna about it Faye, huh?"  
  
"I don't want you to see Kairi anymore."  
  
"WHAT?!" Riku screamed.  
  
"You heard me," she replied darkly.  
  
"You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me!"  
  
"If you don't love her anymore then why are you so mad Riku?"  
  
"Well I.....," Riku paused. He didn't have anything to say back.  
  
"Riku you can either say good-bye to her or say good-bye to me: take your pick." Riku froze. He couldn't believe she had asked him to do that. This just added more and more to the stress and anger inside of him. If he chose to not talk to Kairi again then he wouldn't have Faye to be there anymore to help him heal the wounds of his past. But something about him was still holding onto Kairi. Something deep inside of him at the bottom of his frustrated heart. Riku bent his head down.  
  
"I won't see Kairi anymore," he agreed.  
  
"Good," she replied coldly. Riku still had his head bent down. He didn't want to look at Faye right now. She disgusted him at the moment. He didn't want to hug her or kiss her or anything. He just turned around and walked away. As he walked farther on, a whole new conflict, and totally different feelings flowed through his mind. But now his chest was once again filled with stress. He stopped walking and leaned against the wall.  
  
"Well, I should at least tell Kairi." Then he walked away to deliver her his news.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi was in the inn Betsy worked in, helping her clean up the tavern. She was all alone. It was about nine at night and Betsy had left a while ago, but Kairi not only wanted to pay Betsy back for her kindness, she also had a lot on her mind about Riku and she hoped cleaning would take some of it off. She sighed as he wiped of the wooden tables as her thoughts pondered on the boy that haunted her soul. When she had wiped the tables spotlessly clean she loved over to the cabinet.  
  
"It looks clean to me," she said as she examined the cabinet with silver beer pints on it. She looked at the very top of it.  
  
"Well that part isn't." She went and got a very large chair, and stood on top of it as she cleaned the top half of the cabinet. The chair started to wobble. Kairi looked alarmingly at the legs of the chair. One of the legs had duck tape on it.  
  
"Ah! I got the flimsy chair!" she cried out. Right after she said that the chair's legs collapsed. The heavy chair fell over onto the floor causing the whole tavern to shake. And when that happened, a compartment from the ceiling swung open and a ladder fell out onto the floor causing a big "thud". Kairi blinked in shock at what all had just happened. She hopped down onto the floor.  
  
"I wonder what's up there?" she said as she looked up at the room that was upstairs. She looked around to make sure no one was around, and she smiled and climbed up the ladder. She poked her head through the compartment. There was a room. Her curiosity started to grow and climbed into the room to investigate further. It was your basic room; wooden floor, crème colored walls, a brown bed, a bookcase, a desk, nothing out of the ordinary. But Kairi was still very curious as to whose room this was. She walked over to a book that was lying on the floor. She picked it up and flipped through the pages. It was book full of elaborately hand drawn demons. Kairi continued to flip through the book in fascination and admiration at the beautifully drawn pictures. Kairi paused and stopped turning the pages.  
  
"Wait a minute..."  
  
~*Flashback-10 Years Ago*~  
  
"Riku what are you drawing?" the young Kairi asked as the two kids drew their pictures on the cave walls.  
  
"It's a monster...look," he replied as he stepped out of the way.  
  
"Is that all you can draw?" Kairi giggled, as she looked at all his monster drawings.  
  
"No silly, I just love drawing monsters the best!"  
  
~*End*~  
  
Kairi quickly turned to the front flap of the book. 'This book belongs to: Riku'. Kairi put the book down. She looked around the room once more.  
  
"So this is Riku's room!" she said with a smile. She touched his brown bed softly.  
  
"And this is where Riku sleeps!" she said almost giddily as she hoped onto the bed. She lowered her head down to his pillow softly.  
  
"Mmmmm, Riku's hair smells like vanilla!" Kairi never acted this way towards Riku or Sora. She was acting in a way that of a little girl who had just seen her dream celebrity. But this thought hadn't fazed her yet. She stretched out on the bed in order to get more comfortable. As she did this, her hand slid under his pillow, but something was already under there. Kairi paused in puzzlement, and then pulled whatever was under the pillow out. It was a very battered brown notebook with 'Riku' written on it in faded black letters. Kairi thumbed through the pages quickly. All of the pages were ripped and torn in little places, there were stains all over them, the writing was scribbled on there, and there were very scratchy drawings here and there.  
  
"Well he must've not been feeling to well when he wrote this." She thumbed through the pages once more to see if she could catch any key words:..Kairi...Kairi...Kairi...Kairi, the same words were written on every page. She closed the book quickly.  
  
"He wrote this when he was still on Destiny Island," she said sadly. Kairi thumped her fingers on the book debating on whether she should take a peek at what was inside or not.  
  
"I shouldn't do this, it's a total invasion of Riku's privacy." But she still thought about it. But in the end, like most people, she gave in to her curiosity.  
  
"Just a quick peek," she told herself as she opened to a random page.  
  
~*~  
  
June 10  
  
I'm starting to question the things Malificent makes me do. I keep wondering what's in it for me? There's always a catch to these things. People just don't offer to do you favors without wanting something in return. That's just the way people are. My suspicions of her are always high. Well even if there is a catch, I don't care, anything to get Kairi's heart back. I'd do absolutely anything to get her heart back. No matter how dangerous, or life threatening, or bizarre it might be. I might be taking the slightly darker path to get her back, but like I said, I'd do anything for her. I remember when Sora asked me why I was doing this my exact thoughts were: Don't know, don't care, it doesn't matter as long as I can get Kairi's heart back. I can't stand seeing her in this condition. While I hold her hand, and kiss her brow, and tell her everything is going to be all right she's just sits absolutely lifeless through it all. It's very painful at times. Kairi is the sunshine in my life. Without her my whole world is in darkness. Whenever I'm around her all my boundaries are destroyed and I'm totally vulnerable, she's the only person in the world that can do that. I love her so much, and no matter what it takes I will bring my sunshine back..no matter what it takes.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi's hands were shaking as they touched that page slightly. A tear fell from her eyes. It now hit her that she truly blew him off for Sora. And that he meant so much to her and she took herself away from him. Kairi wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to another page.  
  
~*~  
  
October 18  
  
I don't understand. Yes, I know I screwed up and got my heart plunged into darkness, and I became Ansem's walking, talking freak puppet. But that doesn't mean I didn't TRY to get Kairi's heart back damn it! Kairi totally sees right through me. And not talking about she sees right through me as in she sees right through my image and knows the real me and all that crap, I'm talking about cellophane sees right through me. She doesn't even know I'm there. That's what I mean. I may have failed in getting her heart back as I vowed but I took a risk! Sora took the safe way through it all. Which makes ME stronger. I'm the one who took the risk in getting my heart consumed by the heartless, and when it did happened I got consumed by much worse than the heartless. Could Sora have gone through that dangerous road to try and save Kairi..NO! Who cares if I was on the wrong side? I was doing what I had to do in order to save Kairi! She won't even acknowledge the fact that I even tried to help her, let alone I went through the deep darkest depths to try and help her! She spends all her time with that little traitor Sora and walks right by me like the cellophane that I've now become. I don't believe this! I loved her damn it! I went through things unimaginable for her, all for her. And she just blows me off for Sora! What did I do to deserve this?!  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi cried more freely now. At this point, she decided that she was getting what she deserved to read Riku's piercing thoughts. His words sank deeper and deeper, as did the words in that haunting letter that brought her here. She turned the page and continued to read on.  
  
~*~  
  
September 10  
  
I have come to now realize and accept that my presence here on Destiny Island is that of cellophane. If you were to look at a painting with a room full of people, I'd be the blurry face in the back that no one notices. I am now that toy that sits on your shelf collecting dust, waiting to be played with again. My situation has become not one of being enraged that Kairi barely acknowledges my existence, but one in which I crave to be noticed. Everyone needs to be noticed, to feel appreciated and loved. I feel like a puppy that has been abandoned by its master. I have faded into the dark corners of Destiny Islands striving for someone, anyone to pull me out. I now sit back, faded into the background, just waiting for someone to acknowledge me. I feel so alone and unwanted. In my melancholy state I wrote a song that sums up my life right now perfectly..  
  
//If someone stood up in a crowd  
  
And raised his voice way up loud  
  
And waved his arm  
  
And shook his leg  
  
You'd notice him  
  
If someone in a movie show  
  
Yelled "Fire in the second row,  
  
This whole place is a powder keg!"  
  
You'd notice him  
  
And even without clucking like a hen  
  
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,  
  
Unless, of course, that person should be  
  
Invisible, inconsequential...me!  
  
Cellophane  
  
Mister Cellophane  
  
Should have been my name  
  
Mister Cellophane  
  
'Cause you can look right through me  
  
Walk right by me  
  
And never know I'm there!  
  
I tell ya  
  
Cellophane  
  
Mister Cellophane  
  
Should have been my name  
  
'Cause you can look right through me  
  
Walk right by me  
  
And never know I'm there...  
  
Suppose you was a little cat  
  
Residin' in a person's flat  
  
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears  
  
You'd notice him  
  
Suppose you was a women wed  
  
And sleepin' in a double bed  
  
Beside a man for seven years  
  
You'd notice him  
  
A human being's made of more than air  
  
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there  
  
Unless that human being next to you  
  
Is unimpressive, undistinguished  
  
You know who..  
  
Cellophane  
  
Mister Cellophane  
  
Should have been my name  
  
'Cause you can look right through me  
  
Walk right by me  
  
And never even know I'm there  
  
I tell ya  
  
Cellophane  
  
Mister cellophane  
  
Should have been my name  
  
'Cause you can look right through me  
  
Walk right by me  
  
And never know I'm there  
  
Never even know I'm there//  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi slammed the book shut and started crying hysterically. What she wanted to do now, more than anything, was take Riku in her arms and never let go. But she couldn't because he hated her now.  
  
"Well I guess I get what I deserve," she said as she choked on her tears. She felt lower than anybody could ever go. She felt her heart breaking at the words she had just read. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She got up quickly, hurried down the ladder, and ran out of the tavern crying. She had to find Riku.  
  
~*~  
  
Riku walked slowly through Traverse Town with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"How am I going to tell her?" he asked himself. He bent his head down in sadness. When he lifted it up he saw Kairi running towards him. He closed his eyes.  
  
"Ok, it's the moment of truth," he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Kairi, I..," but he stopped when he saw her crying. "Kairi, what's wrong?" he asked with concern. Kairi looked at Riku in front of her with tears of sorrow and desperation in her eyes. She was breathing heavily. She was sick to her stomach just trying to hold back the urge to wrap her arms around him. Her heart felt like it was going to burst through her chest. Finally, she just let it out. She sobbed hysterically and then wrapped her arms around Riku's waist tightly and buried her face in his chest as she cried. Riku was shocked. At first he raised his arms up to push her off of him, but then he paused as he watched Kairi cry a river into his chest. She looked so helpless. Then Riku felt tears come in his own eyes. As he thought about what Faye had told him.  
  
"I don't want you to see Kairi anymore." A tear fell down Riku's cheek and then he wrapped his arms around her. The two embraced through their heavy and haunting emotions as Kairi cried loudly and Riku held her tightly. Riku shed more tears. She kissed the top of Kairi's head and embraced her tighter thinking about what he would be losing.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
That's all! If y'all have any ideas just send 'em in. By the way, if y'all are bored and you want to read another story written by yours truly it's called Blow Me Over. Well that's all! Please R/R!  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	6. Miserable

Chp 6: Miserable  
  
~*~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Miserable" by LIT  
  
A/N: Thank y'all for your wonderful reviews! I've been working SO hard to make the emotions come out JUST right but now I know I'm doing a pretty ok job! And Beta Genius you're song suggestion was kick-ass! I'm gonna use it in the next chapter!  
  
~*~  
  
Riku stomped through the alleyways, stepping in the puddles and kicking anything in his way. He was furious right now..at life, at himself, everything. He wanted to scream. Just when he thought he was getting closer to closure with Kairi, and that his problems would be all over, and that tiny hole in his heart that still thrived on Kairi (that used to swallow him) was finally closing up, THAT had to happen. He was furious. He had never been so angry his entire life. The hole in his heart was growing, slowly but gradually. And it was all his fault. Faye tried to make Kairi a mere forbidden fruit but he was weak and couldn't resist. He had his game plan straightened out and Kairi crashed it once again. But this time it was his fault. Riku punched his fist into the brick wall beside him causing a gash in the wall. He looked up at the sky.  
  
"WHY ME?" he shouted. He hated his life right now. Everything that happened in it was complicated. And it now seemed that no matter what he did someone would always suffer for it, but he'd end up suffering the most. He punched another gash into the brick wall. Riku knew that if any form of life passed him right now that it would be dead meat so he remained perfectly still. He wanted to scream so badly. He wanted more than anything to just scream his emotions away. That sure would be less complicated than embracing all his emotions away with Kairi. He needed someone to talk to. Someone he could let all his emotions out to, and they would listen every step of the way. And he knew just who that someone was.  
  
~*~  
  
Betsy was alone in her house. Kairi had gone to think somewhere, so she made cookies for her when she returned. Betsy took the cookies out of the oven and smiled at their perfectly golden brown color. Then the front door slung open and Riku stepped inside.  
  
"Betsy! Life sucks!" he shouted. Betsy giggled.  
  
"Amen baby, why don't you tell ol' Betsy what's wrong hun?" Riku plopped down on a chair at the table with a frown on his face. Betsy laughed at his expression.  
  
"Smile baby cakes!" she laughed. Riku shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"I'm sorry Betsy, but at this point it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for me to smile."  
  
"Oh Riku," she groaned. She walked over to him and lifted his chin up and looked at him with warm, motherly eyes, "When you smile, it brings sunshine in my life." Riku smiled meekly at her comment.  
  
"There we go!" Betsy cheered. "Well Riku baby, you're in luck, I made your favorite: triple chocolate chip cookies." She set the platter of cookies at the table. "Now tell me what's troubling you deary." Riku took a bite out of his cookie and took a deep breath.  
  
"Well it goes like this...."  
  
(A/N: Yah, y'all know the story of Faye telling Riku not to she Kairi anymore, blah blah blah...)  
  
~*~  
  
"..And that's it," Riku finished. Betsy was jumping for joy on the inside. She tried to remain calm. But Riku could see right through her.  
  
"Wait...why am I telling you this? You like Kairi!"  
  
"I'm sorry baby, I do like Kairi a lot, and I think y'all would make the cutest little couple!" Riku groaned.  
  
"Yah well you're alone in thinking me and Kairi will ever become a couple. I won't allow myself to get mixed up with her again." Betsy grabbed Riku's hand affectionately.  
  
"You're scared of getting hurt again." Betsy said softly. Riku stiffened up.  
  
"I'm not scared of anything," he said sternly.  
  
"Yes you are Riku, I know you are. Riku, you're a soldier, and everyday is a battle for you, but every soldier, no matter how strong, has a weakness, and yours is Kairi. You don't have to say it out loud it, but I can tell honey." Riku kept quiet. He knew she was right but, he didn't want to admit it. Betsy decided to change the subject.  
  
"Why did you do that Riku, if you claim you want nothing to do with her, then why did you hug her so tightly? And now you even say you have a soft spot for her." Riku shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"I don't know honestly. When she wrapped her arms around me, all the good times we had together just started coming back to me. And something inside of me cried out to those memories, and the next thing I know I was embracing her tightly...and I didn't want to let go." Betsy smiled. But Riku started to get tears in his eyes. "Why is she doing this to me Betsy?" Betsy squeezed his hand affectionately.  
  
"Oh honey, is Kairi really all that bad? I mean, what is so horrible about her that you always run away from?"  
  
"Betsy! She broke my heart in ways unimaginable! I suffered for her and she didn't even give me a half-ass thank you! Who wants to go back to THAT? If you were me, you'd never want to see her face again either! No matter how beautiful her face my be!"  
  
"But Riku baby, she cares for you, she wants to be forgiven."  
  
"FORGIVEN? I don't think so. That crap she did to me scared me for life! I mean she wouldn't even be here if I didn't write that stupid letter to her! There's a distinct difference between care and pity!" Betsy was quiet for a while.  
  
"Do you know she still has that letter?" she asked softly.  
  
"Who cares if she still has it?" Riku snapped.  
  
"She looks at it all the time. That letter is so worn out you can barely read it. But she doesn't need to read it. She memorized the words. She reads it all the time. It has tearstains all over it. Riku, she may be here because of that letter but what would you do if you had gotten that letter? Would you have sat down and done nothing about it? She has never forgiven herself for doing those things to you Riku. You aren't the only one suffering you know." Riku was silent.  
  
"Even so," he said slowly, "if I hadn't written that letter none of this would have happened."  
  
"How can you be so sure?" Betsy asked with a smile. There was silence for a while.  
  
"I don't know what to do Betsy. My heart used to be burning with love for Kairi, but she froze it on Destiny Island. My heart was cold for so long, but when I held her so tight like I did, and kissed her brow, I could feel my heart thawing slowly. My heart felt warmth for the first time in so long. But I don't wish to feel this way! I have Faye! And I've already given myself to her. And I don't want to be with Kairi because she brings back too many awful memories. Yes, I may have good memories of Kairi and I, but for every good memory I have ten horrible ones. I just hate my life right now so bad! I just want to get away! From Faye...Kairi...everybody!" Betsy smiled.  
  
"Riku, you told me you had a the tiniest portion in your heart that still thrived on Kairi. Even in your darkest hour, no matter how small the portion may be, it was still shining."  
  
"What does that mean?" Riku asked with an attitude in his voice.  
  
"It means that even though you think you hate her, she'll never leave your heart, she may disappear for a while, but she'll never go away. A part of her will always be with you, no matter how small. She makes you complete Riku!"  
  
"Yah, completely miserable." Betsy frowned at his comment.  
  
"Well Riku, you can mask all feelings for Kairi, and grant Faye's selfish wishes of not seeing Kairi anymore, but no matter what you do those feelings will never go away. And the longer you run away from your feelings, the longer they'll haunt you." Riku was silent.  
  
"...I'm gonna go now..... I just wanna think, and be alone for a while."  
  
"I understand baby." Betsy kissed his cheek and then he got up and left.  
  
~*~  
  
Riku walked with his hands in his pockets. His mind dwelling on the things Betsy had told him.  
  
"Betsy was wrong about on thing, I'm not running. I can't run, I'm trapped. I'm tied to a chair and watching this all go by, I'm striving to get out but when I strive my pain just doubles. I have nowhere to run to. I'm so lost." Riku leaned up against the wall.  
  
"But we were both right about one thing: Kairi makes me both complete and completely miserable."  
  
//You make me come  
  
You make me complete  
  
You make me completely miserable  
  
Stuck to a chair  
  
Watchin' this story about me  
  
Everything goes by so fast  
  
Making my head spin  
  
Used up all my friends  
  
But who needs them, when you mean everything  
  
I love the things that we should fear  
  
I'm not afraid of being here  
  
So much the same  
  
It makes me helpless alone  
  
Nothing to share  
  
Why should I care if you're near me?  
  
Give up all my plans  
  
But who needs them  
  
When you mean everything  
  
I love the things that we should fear  
  
I'm not afraid of being here  
  
So much the same  
  
You make me helpless alone  
  
Yah, yah....you make me come  
  
Yah, yah....you make me complete  
  
Yah, yah....you make me completely miserable  
  
...Miserable//  
  
~*~  
  
Riku sat thinking for a long time. He was hollow and alone. But never the less he had a decision: to ignore his hateful, yet loving feelings for Kairi, or to stay with Faye and be running from his feelings but not be getting hurt again. Riku got up and walked off.  
  
"...I hate myself."  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
And this basically means that he hates Kairi but he loves her you know? Anyway, that was kind of a short chapter. But necessary, in order for what's coming next. Don't worry it all gets REALLY juicy later. Well that's all. Please R/R ^_^  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	7. The Hardest Thing

Chp 7: The Hardest Thing  
  
~*~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or The Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees...(I know it's a boy band but bare with me here!)  
  
A/N: I've had TWO people comment about me saying "y'all" a lot (hehe)...so if anyone else is wondering...I'm from Alabama, so please excuse the "y'all's" (no offense to the people who mentioned it...I think it's funny). And Betsy is even supposed to be southern *hint hint. ^_^ Well just clearing all the southern talk up for y'all. By the way....if you want to know how Betsy sounds like EXACTLY...think Kim Basinger in 8 Mile  
  
Note to Beta Genius: In response to your what-I-thought-was-going-to-be-my- first-flame review, I'm GLAD you're confused, because in the story, Riku is very confused by his emotions too, so I'm trying to express his emotions in a confusing way. In this chapter he even comments on how a full-grown adult couldn't explain what he's feeling. And the whole "I hate you, but I love you" thing makes perfect sense to me: even though he claims to hate Kairi, and she makes him miserable, something inside of him allows him to look through the bad things and see the good in her, but then again I wrote the story, so everything makes sense to me =P. Well, it'll all make sense later (hopefully).  
  
~*~  
  
It was dark outside. The street lamps lit up the ground that Riku walked sadly upon. His head full of heavy emotions bent towards the ground as he walked slowly, dreading what he was going to do. A flame in his heart still burned for Kairi, no matter how hard he tried to forget her, but that flame is like dry ice: it's the coldest thing one can tough but it burns worse than fire. But he didn't want to be feeling anything for her at all. He wanted to hate her, but something in his being just wouldn't allow him to do that. The love he had for her before was so strong that it wouldn't allow himself to break away from her. It was times like these when he especially didn't like Kairi...she made him weak, she messed his life. He stiffened up as he started to walk. Everything inside of him was so messed up. He felt right know that even a full-grown adult, with years of wisdom behind them, would take years to sort out all his emotions he was feeling. Riku stopped walking. He looked at the sky and threw his hands in the air.  
  
"I'M JUST A KID!" he shouted in a goofy way.  
  
"Riku..." A voice spoke softly behind him. Riku jumped and spun around. It was Kairi. He froze.  
  
"Kairi, no offense, but you aren't exactly the number one person I wanna see right now."  
  
~*Riku's POV*~  
  
Wait, what am I saying? I'm supposed to be telling her the kind of drastic news that I'm not allowed to see her anymore! But I DON'T want to see her. I don't even want to look at her! She messed up my life!  
  
~*~  
  
"Oh," Kairi said softly, "why is that?"  
  
"Trust me, if you were me, you wouldn't wanna see you right now either. In fact, you wouldn't wanna see much of anybody." His voice started to rise, "In fact, you'd wanna be completely by yourself because you know that if this ONE person does anything ELSE to screw up your life. You are going to explode on everyone around you!" Kairi was silent after he said this. She started to get mad.  
  
"Riku, you can't just blame me for all of your problems!"  
  
"Oh yes I can! Me going into darkness...your fault. Me leaving Destiny Island because of sheer loneliness..your fault. Me being ABSOLUTELY miserable....YOUR FAULT!" Kairi got really mad after he said that.  
  
"Riku, shut up! You're acting ridiculous! Yes, some of those things may be my fault, but not EVERYTHING. Faye is making you miserable too! If SHE wasn't in the picture right now everything would be fine!"  
  
"Oh Kairi, don't start. If it wasn't for that stupid letter you wouldn't even be here! Why are you here anyway? What are you trying to accomplish?" Kairi paused.  
  
"I'm trying to erase everything you said in that letter Riku."  
  
"Kairi, I don't WANT you to erase the things I said in that letter. Besides even if those things did blow away for a while, and I came back with you to Destiny Islands, it would be the same thing all over again. You'd be with Sora and I'd fade into the background. I mean, since when do you care about me all of the sudden? You're Sora's girl!" Kairi started to tear up.  
  
"But Riku, I DO care for you!" Riku shrugged his shoulders and his voice softened.  
  
"No you don't Kairi. Don't you see? If I didn't write that letter you wouldn't be here. If you truly cared for me, you would've been there when I needed you most back on Destiny Islands."  
  
"Well I'm here now!" Kairi said in a desperate tone.  
  
"Yah, you're here when you're the one person I never wanted to see ever again. You're bringing back all the things that I specifically wanted to forget. And you're messing with my head and my heart." Riku walked closer towards Kairi until they were mere centimeters away from each other's faces. "And you're making Faye, my one full-proof ticket to making all my haunting memories go away, seem horrible, because you're so perfect, and yet you make me want to scream!" Kairi froze. Chills were sent up and down her veins. She now started to slightly understand the chaos that was going on in Riku's head. Then a thought struck her.  
  
"Riku, if you claim to hate me so bad, then why do I make Faye seem so horrible? And how come that day when I came to you crying, instead of pushing me away, you wrapped your arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head?" Riku looked into Kairi's eyes. They were full of tears and desperation. He had never seen anything more beautiful or sad in his entire life. Then that hole in his heart that still thrived for Kairi exploded, and quickly engulfed his heart. He had fallen back in love with her...full- blown. Riku clinched his fists so hard he was starting to bleed. Yet, he wanted to burst into tears.  
  
'This can't be happening,' he thought. 'Now I have to tell her that I can't see her anymore. Man, I hate her so much, but I love her! God, I'M the one that's messed up. Man, the person I really hate right now is myself. I let myself fall back in love with her!' Riku clinched his fists harder.  
  
"Riku what's wrong?" Riku started to tear.  
  
"Kairi, I'm sorry I got mad at you, but if you were in my shoes just for one second, you'd understand." There was silence for a few seconds.  
  
"Riku," Kairi said sadly, "I'm starting to understand how I messed up your life. I know you wanted to forget all about Sora, and me and all about you're past life. You had a really good thing going here, you had the motherly love of Betsy, good friends, and you had a girlfriend, who I don't like at all, but she was helping you the most. She was helping you to forget about us. And when you were an inch away from that happiness that I know you long for, I came and screwed all that up, and I'm sorry Riku."  
  
The two were still centimeters away from each other's faces. Riku started into Kairi's tear-filled lavender eyes as she recited the story of his life to him. He was fighting with everything inside of him not to cry.  
  
"I know you're beginning to feel new things no that you don't wish to be feeling," Kairi continued. "I know that if I leave here, everything will go back to normal for you, and you're head will be in the right place again. I'm sorry Riku but I can't do that. I don't want to leave you ever again! I know I screwed up in the past Riku, but maybe we can move on and start a new life. My heart is way ahead of us, and I'd do anything for you to start that life with me. I love you Riku, and I don't want to spend anymore of my life without you there beside me."  
  
Riku wanted to die right then and there. Here he was, trying to tell this girl, in some way, that he can't see her anymore, and she just poured her whole out heart to him right onto his lap. Riku blinked hard to fight back his tears of shame.  
  
"Kairi," he began, "I'm sorry but I just can't do that. I mean, I've got Faye. And she's..well I just have Faye right now. And I'm sorry but I..I...," Riku choked on his tears as he stared into Kairi's sad eyes, appalled at what he was about to say, "I...don't..love you Kairi."  
  
Kairi bit her lip to fight back her tears. She bent her head down in dismay.  
  
"Kairi...Faye told me not to see you anymore, and I think it's for the best."  
  
"WHAT?!" she shouted in her tear-filled voice. "Faye told you that? She can't do that she's not your mom!"  
  
"I'm sorry Kairi!" Riku said loudly through his breath that was fighting back tears. "I just don't want to mess things up for me and Faye!"  
  
Kairi started to cry horribly. She didn't want to look at Riku, she just cried with her head bent down. Riku felt so low. He had to sit there and show no emotion as she cried so cry. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.  
  
"Kairi I'm sorry!" he shouted through her loud sobs. "I'm sorry! I.." then he couldn't take it anymore. He had so many emotions inside of him he couldn't stand up straight. He bent over and put his hands on his knees as he fought so hard not to cry. Kairi stopped crying and looked at Riku in this horrible position. Riku lifted his head and gazed back into Kairi's eyes. He was breathing heavily from fighting back his tears. Then he stood up straight and cupped his hands on the sides of Kairi's face. They gazed into each other's eyes as a single tear fell form Kairi's eye. Riku wiped that tear away with his thumb. Then something happened that Riku didn't plan on happening. With his hands still on Kairi's face, he pressed his lips down on Kairi's. As Kairi closed her eyes to expect his kiss, tears fell down her cheeks. She lifted her arms up and placed them on Riku's arms. The two kissed for about thirty seconds then Riku pulled away with small sob. Kairi looked into Riku's eyes full of sadness. Riku still had his hands on the sides of Kairi's face. He simply gazed back into her lavender eyes trying to savor this moment. He bent his head down in shame as a single tear finally fought its way out. He looked back into her eyes.  
  
"..I'm sorry Kairi." Then he removed his hands from her face and turned around and walked away. Kairi broke down on the floor and cried loudly. Riku fastened his pace. He didn't want to hear her cry. It was too painful. He put his hands over his ears and then ran away from the screaming Kairi.  
  
//We both know that you shouldn't be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby, it's killin' me, it's killin' you  
  
Both of us tryin' to be strong  
  
I've got somewhere else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry  
  
I can't let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don't love you  
  
I know that we'll meet again  
  
Fate has a place and time  
  
So you can get on with your life  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I'll be sending  
  
And you will never know  
  
'Cause there can be no happy ending  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry  
  
I can't let you see  
  
What you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don't love you  
  
Maybe another time, another day  
  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye  
  
And tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion  
  
When you start to cry  
  
I can't let you see  
  
How much you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing  
  
I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away  
  
Pretending I don't love you//  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
....Ok I HATE boy bands, but ya gotta admit...that song was RIGHT on target, so thank you Beta Genius for the suggestion. And thank all of y'all for your awesome reviews. I especially appreciate those of you who say my story is the first R/K story that's appealed to you. I appreciate every review I get so thank y'all very much *blows kisses. Well thatz all!  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	8. My Immortal

Chp 8: My Immortal  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "My Immortal" by Evanescence  
  
A/N: Thank you Destati for your awesome song suggestion, and thank all of y'all for your encouraging reviews. Sometimes I think my writing isn't deserving of your reviews ^_^. I did get my first flamish thing...someone commented on my many references to cellophane. I don't mind though. I was just trying to make the story have symbols and I guess I my have went overboard. It was cool with me...whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote (and this is for the people workin' at the airport who got laid off...lol). And another note to Beta Genius: I KNEW your review wasn't a flame but when I first started reading it, it kinda sounded like that's what it was gonna be. But don't worry in the end I knew it wasn't a flame. Well thatz enough A/Ning for know, lol.  
  
PS: When you're reading certain parts in this chapter...don't hold your breath.  
  
~*~  
  
Everyone was outside. Riku was in. He was inside watching all his friends play kickball outside while he watched sadly through the window of his new found curse: Faye. She was his new curse because he was forever bound to her. Wherever she was Riku was forced to be at her right hand. He was forced to stay inside and listen to her ramble on about her pointless, preppy, princess day, while he watched the real fun happen outside. He sighed as he looked out the window watching his friends play competitively as Faye had her back turned to him, as she was brushing her long, brown hair in the mirror. Riku continued to watch the game-that-he would-be- captain-of as he looked around to see who was playing what base. Then he saw her. Kairi stood jeering at the batter as she played third base. He looked his gaze on her. Faye thought that she was keeping him away from Kairi, but actually, the more she tried to take her away from him, the more he was drawn to her. His emotions had now completely spun horribly out of proportion and slipped through his grasp. There was nothing more he could do than sit back and take the horrible, bitter blow of the after math. But right now he knew exactly what he was feeling: Anger. He was angry with Faye for trying to control his life. Who did she think he was? The more she did that, the less he liked her. So she had to either straighten up or he was doomed. Riku stopped watching the game and turned to Faye who was babbling on and on.  
  
"..And I was all like 'No way you're going to wear that hideous skirt'. And she's all like 'You're not my mom'. And then I was like 'Oh honey, you...'"  
  
"Faye why did you not want me to see Kairi anymore?" He interrupted. Faye's eyes widened. She didn't respond.  
  
"Are you threatened by her or something?" Riku asked with an attitude.  
  
"Threatened? By her? Hardly!" She scoffed arrogantly.  
  
"Then why did you want me to stop talking to her? You obviously see her as some sort of threat, or else you wouldn't have blocked her off from me." Faye threw her brush down and stomped over to Riku.  
  
"Riku! Kairi doesn't threaten me in any way! Shoot, I could probably beat her up!" Riku tried not to laugh.  
  
"Faye, I seriously SERIOUSLY doubt that."  
  
"Oh, so now what, are you siding with her now?"  
  
"Well tell me why you don't want me to talk to anymore!"  
  
"Because if you DO talk to her then you can kiss my sweet butt good bye!"  
  
"Hah! There! See? Now you're even threatening ME! Now what is your problem with her?"  
  
"Riku! Just stay out of my business!" She started to walk away. But he quickly jumped in front of her.  
  
"Oh no! You're not backing out this one! You make me tell all your problems to you, now it's my turn!"  
  
"You don't have any problems right now!" Faye shouted. Riku wanted to bust her face in right there. 'You don't have any problems'. She didn't know crap about him. How could she be so blind and stupid? She didn't even care why he came home crying, or that he was getting so angry all of the sudden. All she cared about was herself.  
  
"Faye, just shut up! I'm getting sick and tired of you! Now you tell me what you have against Kairi or I'M breaking up with YOU!" Faye steamed at this.  
  
"Of course I'm threatened by her Riku! I'm not a dumb ass! I can tell you're tripping over her! I can tell you've been acting differently since SHE got here! And I'm not going to let some run-down, white trash steal my boyfriend!" Riku felt like throwing her up against the wall.  
  
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK BITCH!" There wasn't even a mere second in between Faye's reaction to this. She lifted her hand up and slapped him so hard, he seriously didn't know what hit him. Riku's cheek had a horrible stinging sensation and it turned an awful blood-red color. Faye and Riku just stared at each other with eyes to kill. Then Faye whipped open the door and left, slamming the door behind her.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi walked happily through Traverse Town. She knew she had a lot to be sad about with being denied by Riku and all, but playing kick ball with the guys really lifted her spirits and took her mind off of him. She knew this was strictly temporary, but it was nice just to kick back and enjoy the sunshine, just for a moment. Kairi smiled and turned a corner and when she did, someone was already there. She screamed in shock. It was Riku. Kairi let out a deep breath.  
  
"Riku, what are you doing are you trying to kill m..." Riku then stepped into the sunlight and his blood red cheek came into view. Kairi froze.  
  
"Oh my god Riku! What happened?" she asked as she gazed at his pulsating cheek.  
  
"Faye," he replied quietly.  
  
"Man, that looks awful!"  
  
"Yah, thanks for making me feel better about it," he said sarcastically. Kairi paused and thought for a second.  
  
"Betsy's at the tavern right now, but I'll fix that up for you." She grabbed him by the hand and led him to the house.  
  
~*Betsy/Kairi's House*~  
  
"Ok hold still, this may not feel to good," Kairi said as she stuck an ice bag up against Riku's burning cheek.  
  
"Ow!" Riku groaned as the ice just made the stinging worse.  
  
"Oh don't be such a baby!" Kairi teased.  
  
"Hey, if you had this, you wouldn't be feeling so hot neither." Kairi giggled.  
  
"Well it'll get better soon." There was a silence for a few minutes as Kairi continued to hold the ice bag up against Riku's cheeks.  
  
"Um, Riku, if you don't mind me asking...what did Faye do to you?" Riku sighed.  
  
"She slapped me."  
  
"WHAT?!" Kairi shouted as she quickly removed the ice bag and stared at the spot once again in disbelief. Riku's cheek, which had finally adjusted to the cold, started burning like crazy once again.  
  
"AH! Put it back on!" Riku shouted.  
  
"Sorry!" then Kairi shoved it back on his face. They both laughed.  
  
"So..why'd she slap you?" Riku sighed.  
  
"We were fighting."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"..You."  
  
"Oh," Kairi said softly. There was an awkward silence in the air for several seconds.  
  
"..Why were y'all fighting about me?" Kairi asked breaking the silence.  
  
"Well apparently she sees you as some sort of threat. She thinks you're gonna steal me away from her."  
  
"Well why on earth would I do that?" Kairi teased.  
  
"I don't know, you tell me." They both giggled. Kairi smiled warmly.  
  
"...This is how it used to be Riku. This is how it was before the Heartless came, and before you turned to darkness, before we got into that big mess." Riku sighed.  
  
"Yah, I guess it was."  
  
"It could be like this everyday you know. If you come back, we could have fun like we did back then." Riku was silent. He just sighed and sat there thinking. Kairi smiled and started singing a verse from her favorite song.  
  
"When will you laugh again?  
  
Laugh like ya did back when  
  
We'll make noise till 3 am  
  
And the neighbors would complain"  
  
Kairi laughed as Riku hit her with a pillow playfully.  
  
"Ok, that's enough singing!" he said teasingly. Kairi giggled.  
  
"Well it really could be like that again. All you'd have to do is come back with me to Destiny Island."  
  
"Kairi, I can't do that. I don't wish to go back there. Nothing but bad memories await for me there. And I told you, I can't leave....." He stopped in the middle of his sentence. Knowing that what he was going to say next was irrelevant. Kairi raised her eyebrow.  
  
"What? You can't leave Faye? The girl who gave you THIS?" she said as she removed the ice bag, uncovering his red cheek.  
  
"AH!" he screamed in pain. Kairi giggled and put it back. There was silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Kairi, if you truly loved me, like you say you do. You would let me go. You'd go back to Destiny Island and forget all about me. You being here is making my world tumble down. You constantly haunt me in my once pleasant dreams. Don't you see Kairi? The farther you are away from me, the closer you'll be." Kairi was silent. A tear fell from her face.  
  
"I'm sorry Kairi, but you pretty much destroyed any chances you had with me when you left me alone on Destiny Island. And even before that, when Ansem consumed my body he said your heart was with Sora. Meaning you never ever cared for me when you were gone, even though I was busting my chops to save you, you're heart was with Sora, not me. Meaning, what was I to you all those years? Did I always come in second place in your heart? Did I just not open my eyes and see when you truly abandoned me for Sora?" Kairi wiped away her tears.  
  
"Riku, that's not going to happen, I won't leave no matter what you say. Or how low or guilty you try to make me feel."  
  
"Kairi! The longer you stay the farther apart from me you'll grow. Soon I'll hate you more than anything in the world! You have to go Kairi! I'll just end up breaking your heart! I'm telling you to leave for your own good!" Kairi fumed at this. She ripped the ice bag away from his face and stood up.  
  
"If you want me to go away so bad then how come you keep pulling me closer to you?" she shouted.  
  
"What are you talking about Kairi?" Riku asked, ignoring the stinging pain in his cheek.  
  
"You know exactly what I mean. If you want me out of your life then why do continue to lead me on? Why did you hug me so tightly, huh? And most importantly, why did you kiss me? You claim you want me to go, but you won't let yourself leave me alone! YOU are the one who hugged ME. YOU are the one who kissed ME!"  
  
"Kairi, YOU'RE the one who hugged me!"  
  
"Yah, but you hugged me back! But I didn't kiss you did I? That's like the worst thing you could do to me if you claim to want me gone." Riku stood up and got in her face.  
  
"If you feel this way then why are you still here? Why do you continue to torture me with your presence Kairi?"  
  
"Because I love you damn it! And my love for you allows me to see through all that stuff and the good in you shines through! You can do whatever you want to me Riku, but no matter what you do my love and caring for you will still stay strong!" Riku was silent. He blanked out. He had absolutely nothing to say back to her. Kairi turned around and left, slamming the door behind her. Which makes two doors that were slammed in Riku's face that day.  
  
~*~  
  
It was dark outside. The street lamps lit up the ground. Riku was walking strangely upon it. He was confused. He loved Kairi so much, yet a flame of hate burning slowly for her. He didn't wish to love her. Not after what she did to him. Not after all those bad memories she caused. It was hurting him to love her. His situation was so confusing. He loved her now, but if she were gone, he'd love her even more, because she wouldn't be messing up his life. She wouldn't be making him feel weak. She wouldn't be chasing away all his sanity. And it wouldn't be hurting to love her. His life would be normal again if she just let him go. His love for Kairi was venomous, any moment it would strike and kill him. She was killing him softly from the inside. He didn't know how to cope with these confusing feels of love and hate for Kairi. When he thought about them, it made him stressful. He couldn't deal with it all. It was eating away at him. She truly was making him miserable. Riku stiffened up.  
  
"This is all her fault. Why can't she just let me go?"  
  
//My immortal  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your reasoning light  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all sanity in me  
  
These wounds they will not heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held you hand through all these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
And though you're here with me  
  
I've been alone all along//  
  
~*~  
  
Riku's walk turned into him stumbling. He held his chest, as it was getting hard to breath. He was sweating as if he had been running for miles. He stopped walking all together as it was getting hard to even move.  
  
Betsy walked through the streets humming cheerfully with a brown bag of groceries in her hand. She stopped as she saw something strange in front of her. She stood still trying to figure out whom it was.  
  
"....Riku?" she asked slowly. Riku strived to turn his head around. He looked at her, breathing heavily. Betsy couldn't breath. This was really scaring her. Riku opened his mouth as to say something, but he couldn't make the words come out. Betsy stood still with fear and nervousness in her eyes as she tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Then Riku stopped trying to talk. He closed his eyes and fainted onto the hard floor. Betsy dropped her bag.  
  
"RIKU!"  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Cliffhanger! Well that's all for this chapter! Please R/R!  
  
Note to TokyoBabe2040: I'm gonna use your song suggestion! ^_^  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	9. Angel

Chp 9: Angel  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan  
  
A/N: The other day I was listening to my Linkin Park Meteora CD for the first time. As I was listening to it, I was filled with inspiration for this story. I then sat down with the lyrics and came up with a plan for the rest of the story and I finally decided how I wanted it to end. I decided to go in a totally different direction for ending the story. The story is gonna be more angst now so brace yourself if your sensitive. And if y'all read this story and are very confused by what Riku's feeling and are all like "what's his problem?" then I'm glad because I'm going for Riku's emotions coming out in a confusing way and I want people to also be like "he's so stupid!". So bare with me.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi ran as fast as she could through Traverse Town, turning corners and running through puddles. She finally reached the Traverse Town hospital inn and pushed the doors open as she ran in at full speed. She bent down in exhaustion as she was breathing heavily. When she bent back up she saw Faye sitting in a chair with her hands folded nervously in her lap, the neighborhood guys standing around talking sadly, and Betsy crying softly in the corner. Kairi hurried over to Betsy and sat down beside her. When she did Betsy grabbed Kairi's hands and continued to cry. Seeing Betsy cry was unbearable. Tears were starting to form in her own eyes.  
  
"Betsy, what happened?" Kairi asked with tears on her breath. Betsy continued to cry.  
  
"Oh Kairi, I can't say it. It's too unbearable for me to even think about it. The doctor is over there in that room baby, he'll tell you what happened to him."  
  
"Ok," Kairi replied. She was starting to grow very scared. She squeezed Betsy's hand affectionately and took a deep breath and got up to talk to the doctor. She walked over to the door and opened it slowly. A doctor was inside looking at the skeletal charts of a patient.  
  
"Um, doctor?" she said timidly.  
  
"Yes? How can I help you?" he replied.  
  
"Are...Are you treating Riku?"  
  
"Yes I am." Kairi paused.  
  
"...What happened to him?"  
  
"He had a nervous breakdown and fainted, breaking two rib bones in the process."  
  
"What?" Kairi asked in an appalled tone. She couldn't believe it.  
  
"I'm sorry ma'm but that's what happened to him."  
  
"Now what exactly happens in a nervous breakdown?" Kairi asked.  
  
"You get a nervous break down when you can't psychologically adjust to the situation that you are in." Kairi froze. She eyes grew wide and she became numb all over.  
  
"Is something wrong miss?" the doctor asked. Kairi didn't respond for several seconds.  
  
"No, I'm fine." She replied slowly. Kairi turned around and walked slowly to the door. As soon as she closed the door to that room Kairi burst into tears. She ran over to Betsy and hugged her. Betsy continued to sob and hugged Kairi back tightly.  
  
"I'm so sorry baby." Betsy said through her tears. Kairi sat down beside Betsy and continued to cry.  
  
"Betsy this is my fault! People his age don't GET nervous break downs!"  
  
"Aw honey," Betsy sniffed, "It wasn't all your fault. Faye had a lot to do with it too." Kairi continued to cry.  
  
"Yah but I still feel awful in being partly responsible." Betsy hugged Kairi tightly once more. They continued to cry together for a while. Then they heard a door open. They pulled out of their embrace. Faye walked through the door as it closed slowly behind her. Faye didn't move for a while. She just stood at the edge of the door. She wiped away her tears softly and then sat back down.  
  
"That door that Faye just came out of," Betsy said, "that's Riku's room. You can go visit him now." Kairi paused for a while. She gazed at the door. She got up slowly and inched to the door. She turned around and looked at Betsy with a scared expression on her face. She smiled at her reassuringly. Kairi smiled back. She took a deep breath and walked into Riku's room.  
  
~*~  
  
Kairi sat in a chair beside where Riku was lying. He was sleeping. He had just had surgery in his ribs. A nurse was walking here and there fixing the room up and thumbing through files. Kairi never took her eyes off of him. Her eyes were lost in this stare. Her purple eyes, shining with tears, gazed into his face as her heavy thoughts sifted through dust. A single tear fell down her cheek. The nurse turned around from her work and saw Kairi's eyes filled with tears of sadness. This brought a smile to her face.  
  
"You must really care for him don't you?" she asked softly. Kairi nodded slowly. The nurse smiled.  
  
"You know when he came in here and he found out that he had a nervous break down, he was furious. He kept screaming about how he was weak. When we tried to get a psychiatrist to come and talk to him to see what was troubling him, he threw a letter opener at her. Before his surgery he even told us not to give him the pain medicine because it was for the weak. He's such a silly boy, yet he's so remarkable." Kairi smiled.  
  
"Yep that's Riku." The nurse smiled.  
  
"Well I'm gonna leave you two alone right now. Good-bye." Then she left the room. Kairi continued to gaze at Riku with tears in her eyes. So much was going through her head. She couldn't put all her emotions into words. She wanted to go where Riku was right now. She wanted to take him into her arms and never let go. She wanted to run one million miles just so she could see him smile. Tears fell again from Kairi's face. She lifted her hand and held Riku's hand. His fingers were hanging limply above hers. She closed her eyes tightly to fight back her tears. A tear fell from her eyes and she sang the song she sang to him earlier slowly.  
  
"When will you laugh again?  
  
Laugh like ya did back when  
  
We'll make noise till 3 am  
  
And the neighbors would complain."  
  
Kairi bent her head down and cried softly. Then she felt something move in her hand that was holding Riku's. His fingers slowly clasped down onto her hand. Kairi smiled. Her spirit was lifted but she still mourned for Riku.  
  
"Oh Riku, when will you ever find comfort again?"  
  
//Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
  
For the break that will make it ok  
  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
  
You need some distraction or a beautiful release  
  
Memories seep from your veins  
  
Let you be empty and weightless and maybe  
  
You'll find some peace tonight  
  
In the arms of the Angel, far away from here  
  
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
  
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here  
  
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn  
  
There are vultures and thieves at you back  
  
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep building on the lies  
  
That you make up for all that you lack  
  
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time  
  
It's easier to believe  
  
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness  
  
That brings me to my knees  
  
In the arms of the Angel, far away from here  
  
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
  
In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here  
  
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here//  
  
~*~  
  
The hospital had closed for visitors. Kairi stepped outside and took a deep breath. She wiped away the last of her tears. She took one step but when she did someone called out to her.  
  
"HEY!" they shouted aggressively. Kairi turned around it was Faye. She was stomping towards her with tears of anger in her eyes. Her mascara was running to almost the bottom of her face.  
  
"Who do you think you are!" she shouted. "This is ENTIRELY your fault."  
  
"No it's not," Kairi replied calmly and softly.  
  
"YES IT IS!" she yelled back.  
  
"You're the one who slapped him!" Kairi said back in a defensive tone.  
  
"I don't care! You still are the one who...."  
  
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" Kairi boomed. "Riku's laying in the hospital right now and you wanna fight about THIS? Are you THAT self-absorbed." Faye gazed at her with icy eyes.  
  
"I'm not fighting. I'm TELLING. This is REALLY your fault. People just don't GET nervous break downs Kairi. Did he ever have one when he lived with you? No! But he had one after you came back into his life! You screwed it all up big time Kairi! If you hadn't have come here I wouldn't have slapped him...we wouldn't be fighting so much...he wouldn't be so angry...he wouldn't cry..he wouldn't..." then Faye couldn't go on speaking her sobbing broke her words up. She bent over and continued to cry. Kairi didn't now what to do. She looked so sad and helpless.  
  
"Faye..." Kairi said softly. Faye turned her head and gazed at Kairi with her tear-filled emerald eyes.  
  
"..It's all you fault," she repeated in an icy tone. And then she stormed off sobbing. Kairi watched her run off in a confused way.  
  
"...Maybe there's more to her than I think.."  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
That's all for now! I'll get the next chappie up as quick as I can! Please R/R ^_^  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	10. Bring Me to Life

Chp 10: Bring Me to Life  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence  
  
A/N: Yah, my last chapter sucked. Some of y'all may not think so, but when I reread it, it was like "DUDE! This sucks!" What can I say...I'm my own Simon..speaking of Simon...RUBEN WON AMERICAN IDOL!!! Whoo hoo! Well anyway, I'll try to make this chapter better.  
  
~*~  
  
It was still there.  
  
It was all still there.  
  
The tears of Betsy, the shock of all the neighborhood guys who were completely unaware of Riku's inner battle, the aching pain of Kairi's love, and Faye's looking out for Riku.  
  
It was all still there.  
  
They were all in Riku's hospital room. Betsy, Kairi, Faye, and three of the guys: Jay, Thomas, and Mika. Riku had not awakened from his surgery. He had been asleep for twelve hours. This was really starting to scare everyone. The doctor was in the next room figuring out Riku's condition. The six of them waited anxiously for his news. There was an eerie silence in the air for a very long time.  
  
"So..," Thomas said breaking the silence, "you think he's dead?"  
  
"Shut up idiot!" Jay yelled, "What's your problem man? You gonna freak out the girls dog!"  
  
"Yah!" Mika replied, "You're such an idiot man!"  
  
"Don't call me an idiot!" Thomas yelled.  
  
"Well that's cause you is an idiot!" Jay yelled back. The three boys continued yelling indistinctly. Betsy blew her top at this.  
  
"BOYS, SHUT UP!" Betsy yelled, "Riku is lying right there and we don't know what his condition is so if you're going to fight about something as petty as this, GO OUTSIDE!" The boys bent their heads down in shame.  
  
"Sorry Betsy," they all said. Faye was getting extremely restless. She was tapping her foot and playing with her hair frantically to try and distract herself. She got up from her chair and started pacing around.  
  
"Dear god! What's taking that stupid doctor so long?" she spat out.  
  
"Be patient Faye," Betsy said, "He'll be done in a minute."  
  
"I don't want to wait until he's done "in a minute". I wanna find out what's wrong with Riku NOW. I...." Faye went on rambling indistinctly as the three boys and Betsy sighed and decided to allow her to let it all out. The only person who hadn't talked through this whole procedure was Kairi. Her eyes were locked on Riku lying in his bed. She hadn't removed her eyes from him, not even for the tiniest second. Through all the fighting, the nerves, and the anxiety, she never took her purple eyes of off him. At times, one would forget she's there because she remained perfectly silent. She didn't move, she didn't blink, she barely even breathed. Because she was lost in the sight of Riku lying there, not knowing whether she would be able to see his beautiful aqua eyes ever again. This thought terrified her. It hadn't fazed anyone else in the room that Riku might never wake up, that they might never hear Riku's voice again, that they may never see his beautiful face smile at them, that they may never see him playing the simplest game of baseball, yet him putting all his passion into it. Kairi didn't cry as these thoughts floated through her head. She couldn't do anything. She was numb. Without Riku there she couldn't do anything. Without seeing Riku's eyes she became vulnerable. Without hearing Riku's voice she became frightened. And without knowing Riku was there to protect her she went blank. She couldn't make a move. And none of them could see that this is what she was thinking of in her frozen eyes. As Faye continued rambling on about how crappy the doctors were, the door to the room the doctor was in, opened slowly. Everyone went perfectly silent at the first creak of the door. The doctor stepped inside carrying a brown clipboard. There was an eerie silence in the room.  
  
"Well?...." Mika said, breaking the silence. The doctor sighed.  
  
"Well, he can't wake up because he had another nervous break down in his sleep."  
  
"WHAT?!" Faye, Mika, Jay, and Thomas screamed together. Betsy burst into tears. Kairi didn't do anything; she just continued to stare at Riku lying there like she had been. Faye immediately burst out at the doctor.  
  
"What do you mean he had another nervous breakdown in his sleep? What kinda crappy hospital is this? Do y'all have..."  
  
"Miss, miss," the doctor quickly interrupted, "we can not control a person's nervous break down's. They are completely psychological."  
  
"Then how did he get one in his sleep?" Thomas protested.  
  
"Damn, what's this dude dreamin' about?" Jay said.  
  
~*3 Hours Later*~  
  
Everyone had pretty much left. Betsy wouldn't stop crying and she had to leave because she was disturbing the other patients. Mika, Thomas, and Jay had gone off to tell the other guys what had happened to Riku. And Faye was asked to leave on account of her cussing at the doctors. Kairi was still there. She still hadn't moved. She still hadn't spoken. She showed no sign of human life in her. Kind of like when her heart was stolen, except this time her heart was stolen not by the Heartless, but by Riku. He had become a part of her. If he was not there she wouldn't function right. And he wasn't there right now. It hurt so much, to love some one so much and they give you nothing but a cold slap of their words. To watch and wait for a smile out of someone that will never come. To sit back and watch someone's life fall apart at your expense. And to see someone suffer so much and struggle to break free. She didn't know how he could possibly go on. What was keeping him together? But then she remembered that Riku is a fighter, and nothing, no matter how strong or painful, can stand in his way.  
  
~*Kairi's POV*~  
  
I envy him. He has so much weight on him in life yet everyday he somehow manages to get up and try to make the next day worth living for. I don't think there is any other person in the world that has as much strength as him. Nothing seems to bring him down. He makes me feel so weak. I'm sure he makes everybody feel weak. But then again, other people like Faye and all of Riku's other friends, only see his physical strength. But I can see beyond that. I can see his strength of Heart. I can see the strength that allows him to hide all of his battle scars in life. I can see that strength that allows him to carry the weight of his life on his back. I can see the strength that somehow allowed him to go to the deepest, darkest depths to save the ones he loves. I'm blown away by Riku's strength of Heart. Anyone who really knows him can see through hid barriers and tell he has a lot of pain buried inside of his chest. I'm sure most people that were living under the state he's in would give up on life and choose not to go on anymore. But everyday he wakes up and finds something to live for. I wish I could visit him in his dreams. I'm sure if I was there I could make him happy....  
  
*  
  
*  
  
~*Riku's Dream*~  
  
//Some days I sit, starin' out the window  
  
Watchin' this world pass me by  
  
Sometimes I think there's nothin' to live for  
  
I almost break down and cry  
  
Sometimes I think I'm crazy  
  
I'm crazy, oh so crazy  
  
Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?  
  
But then I see my baby  
  
Suddenly I'm not crazy  
  
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes//  
  
Riku shook his head and woke up. He got up and realized he was standing in a grassy field. It was full of pleasant smelling flowers and trees full of fruit. The sun was shining brightly and birds were flying all around. The air was so blissfully warm, he could feel the air warm his very spirit.  
  
"Wow," Riku said breathlessly, "Where am I?" He looked around the harmonious field once more.  
  
"..Is this...heaven?"  
  
"Riku!" someone cried out to him.  
  
"Huh?" He looked around to see who was calling out to him. Then he saw someone waving at him cheerfully in the horizon. It was Kairi. Riku smiled and then ran over to her. When he ran up to her, the two just stared into each other's eye's smiling. He felt so warm on the inside to smile at her and see her smile back at him. Everything inside of him was dancing for joy. Then Kairi stopped smiling. Riku stopped smiling as well and a puzzled expression formed on his face. Then Kairi began to look really sad. One would look at her right now and could see her whole soul pouring out of her eyes full of sadness. Riku stepped back a little at seeing her heartbreaking expression on her face. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled something out. It was an envelope. The envelope was very worn-out and you could hardly see the letters that were written on the front. Then the expression one Kairi's face became even more heart wrenching as she pulled the letter that was inside of the envelope out. The letter was even more worn-out than the letter. But there was one group of words that burned on the paper as clear as red flame: Drops of Jupiter.  
  
After reading these burning words, Riku looked back into to Kairi's sad eyes. They remained locked in a stare of several seconds. Then Kairi dropped the letter onto the ground. The letter fell as if it were going in slow motion. Riku was in puzzlement as the letter fell slowly onto the ground. When it finally hit the floor it made a thunderous crashing sound and the floor started to cave in with it. The floor was breaking down as if there was an earthquake. Then Riku fell down with the floor that came tumbling down because of the mere letter that hit it. Riku hit the floor hardly. He got up and looked around at his new surroundings. It was not at all like the heavenly field that he was at before. This place was dark. Everywhere you turned you would see nothing but blackness. There were no flowers, no birds, no sunshine...nothing. And the air was so cold that he became numb all over from the first second he arrived in there. He became scared. He couldn't see anything. He felt so lost and vulnerable. He began to run around and try and escape from his black prison. But there was nowhere to go. Everywhere he turned, there was nothing but darkness. Then, as he was running he, he crashed into was felt like an invisible wall. He became confused and then tried to run the other way, but there was another invisible wall stopping him. He soon came to realize that he was in an invisible cage. There was nowhere he could run now. Then he felt something grab his arm sharply and pulled him fiercely down to the floor. He looked around in confusion and then got up, but his arm was still pinned down to the floor. He struggled to break free of this unknown force that was keeping him down. Then, it struck again and pulled his other arm down to the ground. This was starting to really frighten Riku. He got up on his legs and tried to break free once more, but it struck again, and this time pulled both of his legs onto the cold, hard ground. He struggled so hard to break free, but no matter how hard he strained he couldn't escape. He was trapped. He started to cry. Then a light shone through the black ceiling. He could see the heavenly fields he was once in. And then Kairi appeared standing in that field watching him struggle to break free of his dark and lonely prison. He was crying softly.  
  
"KAIRI!" Riku cried out to her. Kairi bent down and reached out her hand to him. But then she pulled her hand sharply away as if something had whipped her hand away from him.  
  
"KAIRI!" he cried out once more, but the more her cried out to her, the more her hand would be sharply whipped away from him. Until finally, she gave up, collapsed onto the floor, and started sobbing hysterically.  
  
"KAIRI, PLEASE HELP ME!"  
  
//How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
  
Leading down into my core  
  
Where I've become so numb without a soul  
  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
  
Until you find it there and lead it back home  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
Bid my blood to run  
  
Before I've come undone  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Now that I know just what I'm without  
  
You can't just leave me  
  
Breathe into me and make me real  
  
Bring me to life  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
Bid my blood to run  
  
Before I've come undone  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Frozen inside without your touch  
  
Without your love, darling  
  
Only you are the life among the dead  
  
All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
  
Don't let me die here  
  
(You must be sacrificed)  
  
Bring me to life  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
Bid my blood to run  
  
Before I've come undone  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
(Bring me to life)  
  
I've been living a lie...There's nothing inside  
  
(Bring me to life)//  
  
Riku tried to call out to her once more, but he couldn't speak. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He couldn't do anything. Then a sudden warmth ness reached through all the cold around him and pulled him out of the darkness that was surrounding him. The weight that was holding him down was shattered and he felt like he could fly. He landed onto a soft surface and he felt the warmth ness all around. He opened his eyes and he was back on that lovely field that he was taken away from. And in front of him was Kairi, the only person that could save him from his dark prison. He was overjoyed as he looked into Kairi's cheerful eyes. His soul danced within him as he embraced her happily with arms wide open. They embraced happily for several minutes. When they finally pulled apart Riku smiled at her.  
  
"Thank you for saving me Kairi," he said, "It felt like the world was almost over. But then you came to me."  
  
"Oh Riku," Kairi said breathlessly, "it was almost like I could hear your soul sing out to me..." Riku smiled at her and they embraced once more. Then the sun rose into the sky blinding everything in sight.  
  
//Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders  
  
Everyone's leaning on me  
  
Cause sometimes it feels like that world's almost over  
  
But then she comes back to me//  
  
"RIKU!" Kairi shouted out. "RIKU PLEASE WAKE UP!"  
  
"Huh?...."  
  
~*End Riku's Dream*~  
  
"RIKU, RIKU!" someone was shouting out. Riku was awakened from his twelve- hour sleep by a voice shouting at him Riku shook his head and opened his eyes. He had a gloomy expression on his face from the dream he just had.  
  
"RIKU!" they shouted again. Riku didn't know where he was or who was shouting at him, but he wished they would shut up. He couldn't see anything around him. His vision was blurred from sleeping so long. Finally, his vision came back to him. He opened his eyes and turned to the right to see who it was that had brought him to life from his sleep. It was Kairi. Riku froze. Everything inside of him stopped. And his eyes grew wide.  
  
"Oh Riku, you're awake!" Kairi threw her arms around Riku's neck and started weeping happily into his chest. Riku felt like crying a river right then and there. It was all too much. Everything in that dream was clear now. He was breathing heavily from the overwhelmance of it all. Riku then reached his hands behind his neck and pulled Kairi's hand down. She wiped away her tears.  
  
"Riku, what's wrong?" she sniffed. Tears grew in Riku's eyes.  
  
"Kairi...I...I," he couldn't make words come out. A disturbing lump was in his throat. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"..Yes?" Kairi said softly. Riku wiped his eyes.  
  
"Kairi I...I want you to leave me alone for the moment."  
  
"But Riku I..."  
  
"Kairi..." he interrupted. "..Just go..please." Kari nodded sadly and turned around to leave, shutting the door slowly behind her. Riku bent his head down and wiped his eyes.  
  
"Why is it that my soul just won't let me let go of her?"  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Surprisingly...that STILL isn't the end. And in Riku's dream I used some parts of my favorite song: Hailie's Song by Eminem (which by the way I don't own *shocker*). Well I've got the song I wanna use next..now all I need is the story to go around it..=P. Well thatz all for this chapter. Please R/R! ^_^  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	11. Tomorrow

Chp 11: Tomorrow  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne  
  
A/N: Don't worry Beta Genius nobody dies in this story. I just meant that it's gonna be more angst as the things Riku are feeling will get more sad (and I'm sorry about your eyes!). And if y'all are reading the rest of this story and you become very frustrated at Riku, you'll soon come to find that there's something else about Kairi that he was scared by. So just bare with me here.  
  
~*~  
  
Riku took his first step out of the hospital and gazed into the morning sun that he wasn't seeing through a hospital mirror. He began to walk slowly with his hands in his pockets. His head was swarming around the dream he had just had. He knew that dreams like that don't come around so often. One gets dreams like that when their soul is trying to tell them something with every fiber of its being. And he knew what the dream meant. He knew just what his soul was trying to tell him. He wasn't denying him either. To deny a dream like that would be stupid. But just because he wasn't denying it, doesn't mean he agreed with it. Everything hurt so much. He didn't want these dreams, he didn't want these feelings, he didn't want anything that was in his life right now. He just wanted to let go of it all and run off into the distance so he could find happiness somewhere far away.  
  
~*Riku's POV*~  
  
Happiness.....  
  
Something I haven't felt in a long time. I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy. Wait....yes I can. The last time I was seriously happy was when I found Kairi. Even though her heart was gone I couldn't have been happier. Just to be able to see her and touch her got me on such a high I thought I'd never come down. It's kind of funny how the one person in life that could make me smile in my darkest hour is also the person that is ruining my life. I can't stand her, because I left my life on Destiny Island behind because of her, and when I try to build a new life, she shows up and screws it all up for me. And yet, I love her so much I want to punch her face in.  
  
~*Betsy's House*~  
  
Betsy was sitting quietly at her table stirring her tea. Kairi had gone off somewhere to think, so she had been by herself for quite a while. Then, once again, the front door swung open and Riku stepped through.  
  
"Hey there baby," Betsy said as she was lightened from seeing Riku. "I thought you'd be coming to talk with me soon."  
  
"Talk?" Riku asked trying to deny his problem, "Who says I'm here to talk. I just wanted to come see you. Can't I do that?" He pulled up a chair beside her and sat down. Betsy raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Of course you can come just to visit, but I know you have a problem darlin'." Riku shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Now, what did Kairi do this time?" Riku became silent. He bent his head down.  
  
"Am I THAT predictable?" he asked sadly. Betsy smiled warmly and held Riku's hand.  
  
"Honey, the first step to getting over your problems is to admit them." Riku sighed.  
  
"...Yes, it's about Kairi...again." Betsy smiled.  
  
"There's no need to be ashamed baby, anyone with eyes and a heart can see that you're troubled about her."  
  
"Well....," Riku began, "this time it's not about something she did. It's about a dream I had about her."  
  
"You're dreaming about her?"  
  
"Yes.."  
  
"Oh Riku baby! You know that when you start dreamin' about someone you're hooked!"  
  
"..I dreamt about her all the time back on Destiny Island. Back then, there wasn't one night when I would lay my head down and dream about something other than her. It was like that from the first day I saw her until..." Riku stopped in his sentence and looked to the side angrily.  
  
"....Until y'all came back from the Door of the Light, right?" Betsy finished.  
  
"...Right. I still dreamt about her even after that, but my once pleasant dreams about her turned into nightmares. In fact, all those nightmares were what happened to me everyday. They were nightmares about her shunning me into the cold for Sora. And then I'd wake up to find that my greatest fears and my worst nightmares had become my everyday life." Betsy was silent. She couldn't think of anything she could say in Kairi's defense. She wiped away a tear that had softly shed.  
  
"That's mighty sad Riku...but talk about not forgiving and forgetting."  
  
"Betsy...I've tried to forget about it, but I can't. There's too much to forget, and it's too painful to forgive." Betsy was silent. She stared down at the floor and then looked back up with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Riku, can't you see you're hurting this girl? She loves you Riku! And you just want to hold onto a long-time grudge. You'll break her heart. If you continue on like this no one will get a happy ending." Riku stiffened up.  
  
"After she broke my heart and deserted me, why should I care if I'm breaking her heart now? I've told her over and over again...she wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for that stupid letter! She'd still be back home, kicking back, watching the sunset, and cuddling up with that traitor Sora! And I even told her exactly what you said..if she continues to stay here I'll just end up breaking her heart." Betsy tightened her grip on the chair she was sitting in. She fought back the urge to say something back knowing that this would only end up in a heated argument.  
  
"...Riku we're getting off subject..now tell me about the dream you had about Kairi."  
  
"The dream?" Riku asked, totally forgetting his real purpose there because of the discussion they had before.  
  
"Yes baby, you came here and said you wanted to tell me about the dream you had about Kairi."  
  
"Oh yah!" he replied, "Well, um....it goes like..." He stopped, suddenly becoming embarrassed to tell the dream. He knew that if he told the story Betsy and him would start arguing again, and he hated arguing with her. Betsy put her hand over Riku's.  
  
"Don't be afraid to tell me darlin'." Riku took a deep breath.  
  
"Ok, well it started out like this: I was in a field, not just any felid, but the most beautiful, peaceful field anyone can imagine. There were birds flying above me, and sunshine was shining warmly, and....."  
  
~*~  
  
"..And that's when I woke up." There was silence for a few minutes. Betsy had her head been down and was gripping onto her chair like grim death. Riku could tell that she wasn't exactly floating on cloud nine so he bent his head down and stared at his feet as if they were ancient ruins to avoid looking at Betsy's face. An awkward silence filled the air. Then Betsy couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Riku, won't you please open your eyes and see?" she asked loudly.  
  
"See what?" he replied, even though he knew what she was going to say next.  
  
"Riku, if you have a dream like that it means every force of nature is trying to tell you something! And you know just what it's trying to tell you too! But instead of giving into what every fiber in your being knows is true, you choose to hide behind an ancient grudge!" Betsy got out of her chair and got on her knees next to Riku's chair. She took his hands in hers and stared directly into his eyes.  
  
"Riku, in your dream Kairi rescued you from your dark prison you were in, and that's what she could do now if you just let her! And don't try to tell me that you're not completely, hopelessly trapped in life right now because I know you are! You need to let go of all your pain from your past and just do what your heart tells you. In fact, now I don't care if you finally learn to give into your feelings and end up with Kairi or not. All that matters is that you get away from here! Your trapped right now and you need to break free or else you'll suffocate and die! People don't get nervous break downs at your age Riku! If you keep this up you may end up dead! You can die from stress did you know that? You've acquired a dangerous amount of anger and stress and if you don't break free now, you'll end up hurting everyone around you; not just you, Kairi, or Faye." Betsy tightened her grip on Riku's hands as tears were forming in his eyes.  
  
"I love you Riku. You're like the son I never had. I don't want to lose you to this! I couldn't bare it! I..." Then Betsy just broke down and cried in Riku's lap. Riku started to cry softly too. He was trapped. He wasn't even going to deny it. Riku wiped his eyes and then helped Betsy off her knees and onto her feet as she continued to cry. Riku stared unto her tear-filled eyes.  
  
"...I love you too Betsy. You're like the mother I never had." Then she hugged her tightly around her waist and she hugged back and stroked his hair.  
  
"Oh Riku, you know that I want you to end up with Kairi, but now I just want you to be happy so badly. Right now, you need to do whatever you think will make you happy." She bent down and put her hands on Riku's shoulders.  
  
"If you chose to end up with Kairi that's fine. But if you chose to end up with Faye, well that's fine too. You just need to do something. Whatever you choose, I trust in your decision." Riku smiled and wrapped his arms around your neck.  
  
"I love you Betsy." She hugged him back and kissed his cheek.  
  
"I love you too, my Riku."  
  
~*Faye's House*~  
  
Faye lied on her bed, staring out of her window at the sunshine, crying softly. She was wearing a white tank top with a long, flowy, purple skirt. Her long, straight, brown hair was pulled elegantly into a low ponytail with a purple ribbon. She was bare foot and her pink toe nail polish shined brightly in the sun's light. She lied on her bed thinking about Riku. And of all the things about him she had yet to understand. It was hurting her that he hid himself away from her so. What was he afraid of? Did he think she wasn't mature enough to know? It bothered her thoroughly. Then someone knocked softly on the door.  
  
"Come in," she sniffed. The door opened. She turned her head to see who it was. It was Riku. He stared into her emerald eyes as she stared back into his. He could tell she had been crying. She got up off her bed and walked slowly over to him.  
  
"Hi Riku," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. They embraced for a while. When they pulled apart Riku looked down to see what she was wearing.  
  
"You look beautiful today."  
  
"Thank you." She had a sad look on her face. She knew whatever reason Riku was there it wasn't good. She bent her head down in sadness. There was an awkward silence in the air.  
  
"Faye we need to talk."  
  
"Ok," she replied with her head bent down. They sat down in two of her chairs beside her window. There was another silence as Faye just looked out the window sadly as Riku tried to form together what he was going to say.  
  
"Faye, I...Well...this isn't...well....,"  
  
"You're here to break up with me aren't you?" she asked softly as she turned her head towards him.  
  
"Well...yes." Faye bent her head down sadly as a tear rolled softly down her cheek. Riku couldn't bare to see her cry. Yes, she had her flaws, but deep down, she was a good person. And plus seeing someone that beautiful cry was pretty heart breaking. Riku got off his chair and bent down beside her. He held her hands.  
  
"Faye, I'm sorry it's just that...."  
  
"I knew that when Kairi came here everything would change," she interrupted softly, "I knew that you had a great fondness for her that you tried to hide. You tried to tell me that everything was ok...I tried to listen to you...but deep down I knew better..."  
  
"Faye...don't blame this on yourself. This isn't about you or Kairi. It's about me. You wouldn't understand." Faye started to sob softly.  
  
"I wouldn't understand because you never told me." Riku sighed and cupped his hand on her cheek.  
  
"Faye...please don't cry. None of this is your fault. It's just me...Everything's gonna be ok." Faye was silent for a few seconds.  
  
"That's what you said when Kairi came here." Riku sighed. His hand was still cupping her cheek.  
  
"Faye, it IS going to be ok...I'll never forget our time we spent together. It was weird at times, but interesting nevertheless." Riku wiped away Faye's tears with his thumb. Then he embraced her warmly. Faye held him tightly in her arms and blinked tightly as several tears fell. When they broke apart, Riku smiled warmly at her.  
  
"Good bye Faye." Then he turned to leave. Fate bent her head down and cried even more. Riku turned around.  
  
"Remember Faye..everything's gonna be ok." Faye nodded softly, and then Riku turned around and walked towards the door. Faye lifted her head up. She gazed out the window once more as a single tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
//And I wanna believe you  
  
When you tell me that it'll be ok  
  
Yah I try to believe you,  
  
But I don't  
  
When you say that it's gonna be  
  
It always turns out a different way  
  
I try to believe you  
  
Not today...  
  
I don't know how I'll feel  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow  
  
I don't know what to say  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day  
  
It's always been up to you  
  
It's turning around it's up to me  
  
I'm gonna do what I have to do  
  
Just don't..  
  
I'll give you a little time  
  
I'll leave you alone a little while  
  
Maybe it's not to late  
  
Not today...  
  
I don't know how I'll feel,  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow  
  
I don't know what to say  
  
Tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day  
  
Hey yah yah, and I know I'm not ready  
  
Hey yah yah, maybe tomorrow  
  
Hey yah yah, and I know I'm not ready  
  
Hay yah yah, maybe tomorrow  
  
And I wanna believe you,  
  
When you tell me that it'll be ok  
  
Yah I try to believe you,  
  
Not today..  
  
Tomorrow it may change..  
  
Tomorrow it may change//  
  
Faye continued to wipe away the tears from her face. She turned around and saw Riku shut the door behind him...  
  
And that was the last time Faye saw Riku...  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Well that's all for this chapter! I hope after reading it..you now look at Faye in a different way..Anyway, next chapter is the LAST CHAPTER *bum, bum, bum, buuuuuuuuum* Sorry this chapter took so long to post. I went away for three days on a youth trip to Gulf Shores! It was fun! Anyway, that's all for this chapter! Please R/R ^_^  
  
Peace Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


	12. Somewhere I Belong

Chp 12: Somewhere I Belong  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park  
  
A/N: After you read this chapter, you HAVE to read the Author's Note at the bottom!!! Note that HAVE is in all caps. And I'm glad that y'all now look at Faye differently. That's what I was going for. That just goes to show that you never know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.  
  
~*~  
  
Riku sat on his bed staring into the air, thinking hardly about what he was about to do. He had finally decided what he was going to do. The question was how was he going to do it? He didn't know how to explain it to her. He needed to say what he was going to say but there was too much to tell. He couldn't put it into words. All he knew is what he had to do with his life right now, and when he became discouraged of what he was about to do, he just thought back to it. He knew now that he needed to let go of everything and break away from himself. He was so numb right now but if he just did what he knew he had to do...he would thaw out one day. If he just let go of all the pain inside of him he knew that he would find happiness somewhere and find himself again. Riku became more confident as he reminded himself of what he had to do over and over again. He just reminded himself that while he may not like the decision he made now...he knew one day he would be thankful he made it....  
  
//(When this began)  
  
I had nothing to say  
  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
  
(I was confused)  
  
And I let it all out to find  
  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
  
(Inside of me)  
  
But all they can see are the words revealed  
  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
  
(Nothing to lose)  
  
Just stuck, hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real  
  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real  
  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
And I've got nothing to say  
  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
  
(I was confused)  
  
Looking everywhere, only to find  
  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
  
(So what am I)  
  
What do I have but negativity  
  
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me  
  
(Nothing to lose)  
  
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone  
  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real  
  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real  
  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
  
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed  
  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
  
I will break away, I'll find myself today  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real  
  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real  
  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
  
Somewhere I belong  
  
Somewhere I belong//  
  
Riku smiled softly as he thought these encouraging thoughts to himself. He knew what he had to do now, and he wasn't afraid. All he had to do was try to explain everything to Kairi. Riku got off his bed and then threw his bag over his shoulders. He walked towards the door. When he put his hand on it he paused and looked at everything in the room around him. He smiled.  
  
"..After all if Kairi truly loved me, she'd understand..."  
  
~*~  
  
It was dark outside. The stars lit up the ground. Riku walked slowly down the road with his bag at his shoulder, looking as if he had not a care in the world. He heard footsteps running towards him and panting. He turned around and sure enough, Kairi was running towards him. He took a deep breath and stopped to let her catch up with him. He was growing very nervous and shaky..he didn't know how to say what he was going to say...  
  
"RIKU!" Kairi shouted out in a tired breath. Then she finally caught up with him and bent down in order to catch her breath.  
  
"Yes Kairi?" he asked softly.  
  
"I...heard....," Kairi panted, "..that...you..broke....up with Faye." Riku sighed.  
  
"Yes I did," he replied sadly. "It wasn't pretty."  
  
"But Riku..I thought you said...hey wait, why do you have a bag?"  
  
"Because I'm leaving this place."  
  
"WHAT? You're coming back to Destiny Islands?! Oh, Riku I'm so happy!" Kairi wrapped her arms around Riku's waist.  
  
"I promise Riku you won't regret it! I'm gonna make you the happiest person ever!" Riku swallowed to fight back his tears.  
  
"...Kairi?" he said softly.  
  
"....I swear Riku things will be different from now on! I swear I'll make it up to you!"  
  
"Kairi," he said louder.  
  
"....Oh Riku, you have no idea how happy you've made me! I can't wait until...."  
  
"KAIRI!" he shouted. Kairi stopped.  
  
"What is it Riku?" she said while wiping away her tears of happiness. Riku sighed.  
  
"...Kairi, I'm not coming back to Destiny Islands with you." Kairi stepped back.  
  
"What?" she asked softly.  
  
"I'm not staying here, and I'm not going back with you."  
  
"Then what are you doing with that bag?" she asked nervously.  
  
"Kairi....I'm getting out of here. I'm leaving this place. I'm letting go of all the pain, sorrow, guilt, betrayal, stress, and anger that has built up for me here. I'm letting go of it all and leaving to find happiness someplace else. I'm finding somewhere I belong. I will never become anything unless I break away from the nothing I've become here." Tears formed in Kairi's eyes.  
  
"But Riku....," she searched for a reason for him to stay, "....you'll be leaving Betsy, and Jay, and Thomas, and everybody else."  
  
"I talked to Betsy about it already. She said she trusted in my decision to take any sort of action to break away from this hell hole that I call my life. And all the guys here know that whatever decision I make, I'm doing what's best for me. And what I'm doing right now is what's best for me."  
  
"But...," she searched even more, "I'm not the only one that wants you to come back to Destiny Islands too, ya know! Sora is your best friend! He misses you too!"  
  
"Best Friend? Hah! Kairi, after your so-called best friend betrays you and then steals your girl, I don't think he's your best friend anymore!"  
  
"But...," Kairi paused. She couldn't think of anything else. "But Riku..I don't want you to go...I love you Riku. I told you I was sorry about what happened on Destiny Islands! I'm sorry Riku! Why won't you forgive me?"  
  
"Oh Kairi, you're so ignorant."  
  
"What?" she replied.  
  
"Kairi you think you know everything about me but you don't. You think you can see right through me, but you can't."  
  
"Riku, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Kairi, 'One who knows nothing, can understand nothing'. Ansem said that, and he was right. You don't know anything right now. What I wrote in that letter was just the tiniest fraction of why I was leaving."  
  
"I still don't understand! Why won't you come home Riku? I said I was sorry. I'm sorry if I deserted you back then, but I'm here now! Now what else did I do that was so bad to make you hate me so much?"  
  
"Oh Kairi, you don't understand....You don't know what it was like....you have no ides what it was like to look into your eyes after you let go of Sora's hand when you were separated. You don't know how it felt to see you stare into the starry sky, thinking thoughts of Sora....," Riku moved closer to her and stared directly into her eyes. "And you don't know how much it broke my heart to watch you cry as you drew that picture on the wall of you giving Sora the poupu fruit." Tears started to form as Kairi stared back into his aqua eyes.  
  
"....What? How did you....I mean...Riku you weren't even there."  
  
"Kairi, the very second I was behind the Door to the Light, my heart was instantly with you. I was there for everything you did those years when we were apart. Every step you'd take, and every move you'd make, I'd be watching you....You thought I was gone, but I wasn't. I was with you all those years. And in the time we were separated, you never once cried a single tear for me. So that's when I decided why should I care about any of this? Because you were never there for me when I needed you most." Kairi was absolutely silent for several seconds. She was blown away at what Riku had just told her. Kairi didn't know what to say. She didn't have that much left to say.  
  
"Riku....I'm sorry for breaking your heart so, but I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you because I am so in love with you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you then, but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere because I love you so much." Riku sighed.  
  
"Kairi...If you truly loved me you'd do as I say....You'd go back home to Destiny Islands and be with Sora...right now, he needs you a lot more than I do." Kairi bent her head down and started to cry bitterly. Riku put his hand under Kairi's chin and lifted it up until Kairi's tear-filled eyes were staring back into his.  
  
"Kairi...you want me to be happy right?"  
  
"....Right," Kairi sniffed through her tears.  
  
"Well if you'd just let me leave then I could find happiness somewhere far away. And when I do....then things would be so much more different for us. When I finally find that happiness I long for...I'll come back for you....I promise. That day may not be today or tomorrow, or even three years from now, but when it does come, I'll be there for you. But you can never see me until that day or everything will fail." Kairi nodded her head slowly.  
  
"But Kairi, I can only go on one condition: if you say it's all right for me to go."  
  
"WHAT?" she shouted through her tears.  
  
"Kairi, if you love me and you want me to be happy, you have to let me go. And I'll even tell you why: because right now you have all of me. Every fiber in my being is with you. And if you don't let me go, then I won't be complete when I leave and I'll never recover. And when I say "let me go", I mean let the part of me that is always with you go. Because if you don't, it doesn't matter how far off I travel to, because my life will always be bound to the part of me that was left with you." Kairi started to cry even harder.  
  
"I won't let you Riku! I love you....I don't want you to go!" Then she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest and cried hysterically. Riku cried softly as she did this. He held her back and stroked her hair gently. He pulled her away and stared into her eyes.  
  
"Kairi, I love you too. I always have. But right now..I just can't. I can't love you. (A/N: Meaning he loves her, but given the circumstances he can't express that love to her)." Kairi stopped crying and looked at Riku with angry eyes.  
  
"If you love me then what are you so afraid of? Why are you running like this?"  
  
"Kairi, I'm not running. I told you, I'm letting go of all this crap that's here. I'm letting go of all the weaknesses in me, and trying to find myself again. And Kairi, besides, wouldn't you rather have me love you when it's not hurting me to love you? When I hug or kiss you wouldn't you rather me put all my heart into it instead of thinking "what the hell am I doing?" And whenever I look into your eyes wouldn't you rather have me see the wonderful life ahead of us instead of being haunted by the horrible life behind us?" Kairi paused. Then she bent her head down and nodded in quiet agreement as a tear fell down her cheek.  
  
"Kairi, if you'd just let me go, eventually I'd come back to you, and everything would be just like I said." Kairi was quiet for a few moments. Then she took a deep breath.  
  
"Ok....I'm letting you go." Riku smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek.  
  
"Thank you Kairi." Then the two of them wrapped their arms around each other tightly as if they were never letting go. Kairi rubbed her cheek up against his strong shoulder as more tears of sorrow fell from her face. Riku cried softly to himself and kissed the top of her head as he embraced what he'd be leaving behind for what he knew could be the last time at any moment. When they finally pulled apart, after what seemed like hours, Riku pulled a necklace out of his shirt and ripped it from his neck. It was a dog tag style necklace that had "Riku" engraved on it and a silver chain.  
  
"Give me your hand," he said softly. Kairi reached out her hand and Riku placed the necklace into it as he held her hand for the final time.  
  
"I want that when I return to you....but until that time just keep it to remember me by." Kairi's eyes shined with tears.  
  
"Oh Riku.." she wrapped her arms around his waist once again. The two embraced for several minutes. Riku kissed her cheek, as they pulled apart.  
  
"I love you Riku," Kairi said. Riku smiled.  
  
"Kairi, I promise that one day I'll say it back, but right now I just can't." Kairi nodded slowly.  
  
"I understand," she replied softly.  
  
"And Kairi....if you ever feel alone, just look up at the stars and think of them as Drops of Jupiter in my hair...."  
  
~*Another Time, Another Place*~  
  
The children around him smiled happily as his story was coming to an end. They never took their eyes off of him as he told his story with such passion. The children rested their heads on each other's shoulders as they listened to him peacefully.  
  
"...And that's my story," Riku finished. "That was the story of my life before I came to live here. It was sad story for me, filled with sorrow and anger, but eventually I found peace inside of me."  
  
"But are you happy?" one of the children called out. Riku smiled at her.  
  
"No yet, but I'm close. Excuse me, but I have to go now. I hope everyone enjoyed my story."  
  
"Wait Mr. Riku!" another child called out, "What about Kairi? And Betsy? And Faye? Did you ever see them again?"  
  
"No, I never saw any of them again."  
  
"Are you sad about that?"  
  
"Well....sometimes."  
  
"Why aren't you sad all over?" another child asked, "If I left people like them, I'd be very sad. Especially Kairi!"  
  
"Yah!" all the kids protested. Riku smiled.  
  
"I'm not sad all over because I know that one day, everything's gonna be ok, and when that day comes, I'll love Kairi even more."  
  
"I don't understand," one of the kids whined softly. He walked over to her and put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"You know, I don't think anyone understands. Which is why when you grow up you can't be stupid and end up like me ok?"  
  
"Ok," she giggled.  
  
"Mr. Riku, how will you know when you finally become happy?"  
  
"Because I'll feel like I did when I looked into Kairi's eyes before the Heartless came...and it felt like I was flying without wings."  
  
~*THE END*~  
  
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Well that's the end of my story. I'm sorry if I disappointed a lot of y'all, but I wanted to do something y'all weren't expecting. But you know, my story may not COMPLETELY go away...... *cough*SEQUEL*cough*....(hint hint). Well I think I did a pretty ok job, what do y'all think? Thank you for all y'all's wonderful reviews. They were very encouraging for me! I hope y'all enjoyed my story and be sure to watch out for me cause I got a lot more stories in mind. Well that's all! Thank you once again for your reviews and I'm sorry if I disappointed y'all on the end of the story....*cough*SEQUEL*cough*.  
  
Peace On and Out,  
  
Kia Saphia 


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